Rocky! Rocky!

What a week for low expectations!

On Thursday, Sarah Palin survived the debate by regurgitating words she learned in a three-day debate prep, forming sentences that don't hold up when you actually listen to what she said, and somehow that qualifies as a gutsy, folksy, cutesy performance, one that exceeded expectations.

Well when you expect an airhead and instead get a mindless drone, I suppose that is a step up.

Then on display Saturday was the curious case of Kimbo Slice, the fighting phenom who was tearing up the MMA world with his shocking power and his sensational YouTube videos.

Or, perhaps the more honest introduction would have went like this: Capitalizing on the excitement young adolescents feel when they watch bum fights on the Internet, a jacked former homeless man videotapes himself punching the crap out of half-wits and neighborhood morons, sending their shellacked asses to the ground time and time again.

Because Kimbo found out what Americans actually like in a fight: not grabbing, kicking, scratching and failing arms, but a good clean knockout. BAM! Right to the jaw.

The rise of MMA and the rise of knockout videos on the Internet are two parts of the same phenomenon. I'm not necessarily saying that's a bad thing: Give the people what they want. And I enjoy a good knockout video as much as the next guy.

But let's be clear. Just because you have a good punch doesn't make you a good athlete or the next big thing in sports. It makes you a YouTube star and a circus sideshow.

So it's no surprise that, just four fights into his "professional" MMA career at CBS, this happened to Kimbo Slice:



Yeah, just a few seconds in, and Kimbo catches a surprise right from the guy with pink hair who filled in for Ken Shamrock.

And how did the announcer react? Like it was the greatest sporting moment since the 1980 Miracle hockey team:

Rocky! Rocky is here!
Seth Petruzelli shocks the world!...
The most INCREDIBLE. VICTORY. In the HISTORY of MIXED MARTIAL ARTS!
Seth Petruzelli! IT can HAPPEN. BE-LIEVE!...
If you have a dream. If you're willing to step into a cage and fight for your life.
YOU! Can be anything you want...

Meanwhile, newly anointed Rocky is running around like he just got away from a rabid bear and is torn between celebrating and looking around to make sure Slice doesn't come out of nowhere to hit him in the face. Because he has shown a little brutality before.

Am I only the one who feels this whole nonsense is a little fake? A little too much WWF and not enough like anything resembling a real sport? Something like wrestling turned reality show minus a cohesive story line?

All that really happened was a 34-year-old over-hyped steroid-fueled street menace was dropped with a lucky punch by some dumbass who decided pink highlights was the way to stand out in a crowded MMA world.

And there we have this jackass CBS announcer acting like this is important? He says History! like this fight actually matters in the great story of the world.

So next time you hear about an Internet phenomenon, think bum fights. The next time you hear some idiot rant about history, think: Will this really matter? When we expect our sports heroes to do nothing but create cool YouTube videos of their awesome "knockouts," well, that's just more low expectations. Any idiot can make a YouTube video.

Please, watch all the knockout videos you want, but remember that Muhammed Ali and Kimbo Slice don't belong in the same sentence. They don't even belong in the same book.