So I went home for the holidays yesterday. Flew. Had a connecting flight in D.C. - Ronald Reagan International Airport (ugh...).
Anyway my Dad picked me up at LaGuardia, the airport in N.Y. We're driving home in some pretty heavy traffic. I don't need to remind you it's two days before Christmas.
So we're in the right lane somewhere in N.Y., trying to make our way to the left lane. Next to us, to our left, is a big, ugly dump truck of some sort. It's trying to make its way to the right lane. So my Dad speeds up a bit, and moves to the left, allowing the truck to move to the right behind him. Seemed legit, if a tad bit aggressive. Happens all the time, right?
Well I'm in the front passenger seat of the sedan. I turn and look at the dump truck. I barely catch a glimpse of the driver; he looked like you would suspect a N.Y. dump truck driver to look like. Rugged. Ugly. Anyway I look up, we make brief eye contact. And he spits.
Like, right at me. The wind carries it backward, and it lands on the back passenger side window. One big loogie and a few streaks of mucus just plastered there on the window.
As N.Y. Post columnist Cindi Adams would say: Only in New York, kids, Only in New York.
My Dad didn't even notice, so I pointed it out to him. The rest of the ride home, he'd let everyone cut in front of him.
"Don't want to get spit on again," he'd say.
I kind of wanted to fight that truck driver, like maybe one punch with a roll of quarters, or something even more vicious. But in the end, I had to laugh. What a welcome home!
Now it's like 5 a.m. and I'm up for no conceivable reason. And it's snowing.
Happppppy holidays.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
On graduation, or...
...Why I don't have successful chit-chat
As most readers of this blog already know (I salute you, loyal readers!) I recently graduated from the University of South Carolina.
Some have begun to ask me, "What's it like?" or "How do you feel?"
I usually answer: "Weird," "Interesting," "Scary" or "I don't know" - then sort-of stare at the person as I ponder my future and they generally get creeped out.
While all those answers are basically true (the last being the closest) I think the picture has started to become clearer.
What's it like to graduate?
It's confusing. It's lonely. It's disorienting. In it's infinite freedom it feels shockingly constricting. With the options full and vast, the lack of small choices and a set purpose is like the floor dropping out from underneath you and the walls moving away yet you cannot move. You don't fall when the floor moves away, you're merely suspended there, with guilt and fear that maybe you should fall, or that you can at any moment.
I think when I came to college there was some unconscious feeling that I would begin to be defined by my time there and that, at the End, that far away thing, there would be something tangible. Not a degree or a job but a tangible person, an identity and maybe even a direction.
I'm sure that over the years I've ruled out a few things; I've come to know I am not this type of person or I'm not going to be interested in this or that. But I don't know that I've been able to, in a sense, learn enough about myself to get an idea of who I'm going to be. That to look ahead to the next 15 years and where I'll be is to look back at the past 4 years and where they've gone. You begin to wonder if artificially significant events like a graduation will be a turning point, just like the artificially significant event of going off to college. School is that weird time where you spend all your time accomplishing things so that you can accomplish more things in the future. And a recent graduation affords you the ability to be suspended in time between your old life as a youngster and your new life as an adult. There's an inherent inconsonance there.
I think it's why my instinct is to run back to school. The safe place; the place I've known since I began knowing.
It's a weird, interesting and scary time.
(And imagine if I hoisted all of this self-absorbed existential nonsense on an innocent passer-by?)
As most readers of this blog already know (I salute you, loyal readers!) I recently graduated from the University of South Carolina.
Some have begun to ask me, "What's it like?" or "How do you feel?"
I usually answer: "Weird," "Interesting," "Scary" or "I don't know" - then sort-of stare at the person as I ponder my future and they generally get creeped out.
While all those answers are basically true (the last being the closest) I think the picture has started to become clearer.
What's it like to graduate?
It's confusing. It's lonely. It's disorienting. In it's infinite freedom it feels shockingly constricting. With the options full and vast, the lack of small choices and a set purpose is like the floor dropping out from underneath you and the walls moving away yet you cannot move. You don't fall when the floor moves away, you're merely suspended there, with guilt and fear that maybe you should fall, or that you can at any moment.
I think when I came to college there was some unconscious feeling that I would begin to be defined by my time there and that, at the End, that far away thing, there would be something tangible. Not a degree or a job but a tangible person, an identity and maybe even a direction.
I'm sure that over the years I've ruled out a few things; I've come to know I am not this type of person or I'm not going to be interested in this or that. But I don't know that I've been able to, in a sense, learn enough about myself to get an idea of who I'm going to be. That to look ahead to the next 15 years and where I'll be is to look back at the past 4 years and where they've gone. You begin to wonder if artificially significant events like a graduation will be a turning point, just like the artificially significant event of going off to college. School is that weird time where you spend all your time accomplishing things so that you can accomplish more things in the future. And a recent graduation affords you the ability to be suspended in time between your old life as a youngster and your new life as an adult. There's an inherent inconsonance there.
I think it's why my instinct is to run back to school. The safe place; the place I've known since I began knowing.
It's a weird, interesting and scary time.
(And imagine if I hoisted all of this self-absorbed existential nonsense on an innocent passer-by?)
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Sounds of the city
As I've mentioned before, I have a bit of a hearing problem. By that I mean, when I went to get my hearing tested about two years ago, the reaction was basically: Holy fuck you can't hear, I'd look into hearing aids.
To which I said, "Hell, no; I'm 20 years old, I'm not getting a hearing aid like some goddamn old person."
So I soldier on.
Anyway I bring that up to tell you a quick story. For a long while, when I was stuck at a red light or cruising through Columbia I would always hear this rhythmic sound, like someone ritualistically banging on a cowbell, but more forceful, and with impeccable timing. Over and over I'd hear this sound, having no idea what it was, or where it came from.
Like many confused souls, I made up my own conclusion. I thought it had something to do with construction. There is always something being constructed in Columbia, so I thought this was like some cement mixer or some way to break down concrete that I don't even know about. I almost was at the point where I was going to accost a construction worker and ask him what the hell that noise was.
Then I figured it out. It's the Walk/Don't Walk things on the side of the streets. They go off when you're supposed to walk, or when you're not supposed to walk, I'm not sure which. It's for blind people, I assume. For years I had no idea. And then one day, not too long ago, I just figured it out somehow. Maybe it was a "good" hearing day (I have those). Now that I know the origin, it is so shockingly obvious that I'm quite embarrassed.
It's like the time I finally put together that George Rogers Blvd. is named after George Rogers (although there was no disability excuse for that, unless you count obliviousness).
And I'm worried, too. How many other sounds do I hear that I completely misplace? I know I can't hear when people talk, sometimes. Most of my friends know about this, and gently chide me about it. But how many other noises out there have I completely mistook for something else? It's scary. Makes me want to get a hearing aid.
Not going to do that, though.
To which I said, "Hell, no; I'm 20 years old, I'm not getting a hearing aid like some goddamn old person."
So I soldier on.
Anyway I bring that up to tell you a quick story. For a long while, when I was stuck at a red light or cruising through Columbia I would always hear this rhythmic sound, like someone ritualistically banging on a cowbell, but more forceful, and with impeccable timing. Over and over I'd hear this sound, having no idea what it was, or where it came from.
Like many confused souls, I made up my own conclusion. I thought it had something to do with construction. There is always something being constructed in Columbia, so I thought this was like some cement mixer or some way to break down concrete that I don't even know about. I almost was at the point where I was going to accost a construction worker and ask him what the hell that noise was.
Then I figured it out. It's the Walk/Don't Walk things on the side of the streets. They go off when you're supposed to walk, or when you're not supposed to walk, I'm not sure which. It's for blind people, I assume. For years I had no idea. And then one day, not too long ago, I just figured it out somehow. Maybe it was a "good" hearing day (I have those). Now that I know the origin, it is so shockingly obvious that I'm quite embarrassed.
It's like the time I finally put together that George Rogers Blvd. is named after George Rogers (although there was no disability excuse for that, unless you count obliviousness).
And I'm worried, too. How many other sounds do I hear that I completely misplace? I know I can't hear when people talk, sometimes. Most of my friends know about this, and gently chide me about it. But how many other noises out there have I completely mistook for something else? It's scary. Makes me want to get a hearing aid.
Not going to do that, though.
Bed...Bath...and BEYOND
Today, I went to Bed, Bath & Beyond and I thought I'd describe the experience for you.
The store is located on Garner's Ferry Road, in the Target shopping center (that I'm sure has a name, I'm just not aware of it). Inside is, as you'd expect, full of all your bed and bath needs. I think the Beyond either refers to the Kitchenware section, or the assortment of Hannah Montana trinkets placed near the registers, in an obvious attempt to attract children as they wait in line next to their parents.
The store has an organized structure, although it's not immediately comprehensible. I saw signs for the aforementioned Kitchenware section, which had sub-headings like "utensils" and "cookware." Other signs, however, merely state the products' brand names, which were completely useless to me, and might as well been in French (Perhaps some were, I didn't have a notebook with me to record them). I think my ability to navigate this store in less than a half-hour bodes well for when I travel overseas.
The store is also quite cleverly designed. The high ceiling allows products to be stacked and hung well above eye-level, anywhere from 15-20 feet, which for most non-NBA players is unreachable. They also flood the aisles with little product booths. So as you walk around with your head cocked upward, you bump into these things, and apparently the effect is supposed to be one of, "Oh, look what I just bumped into, maybe I should purchase this item." I am happy to report the tactic was ineffective on me.
My purpose
I'm not really an impulse buyer, save the occasional pack of gum or peanut M&M's. So my trip to BB&B had three clear purchases in mind:
1. Lint Roller - I washed a pair of khakis with some new towels, and dried them together, so my pants had a thin layer of purple lint plastered on them.* Thus, a lint roller. And to preempt the questions, yes, I bought a purple towel, and yes, it is pretty bad-ass.
2. Dryer Balls - I'm never satisfied after I do a load of laundry. Always, the pants are too wrinkled, the shirts get messed up a bit, and just overall the dryer sheets I use don't reduce static cling enough for my liking. These Dryer Max Dryer Balls got a good write-up in The Gamecock**, and I thought the concept sounded cool. I was horrified when I got them that they had "As Seen on TV" plastered on the packaging, which made me think: scam. As you can see on the site, these are the same ass-holes behind ShamWow and Cash 4 Gold. This is so sad, but I hope they fluff up my laundry a bit, otherwise I'll be so disappointed that I actually bought them. I'm literally crying as I type this.
3. The third item was going to be bed-lifts. My bed is currently just a mattress atop a box spring, and I wanted to get that sucker off the ground. I was assured by my mother, who reads this blog so infrequently as to cause mental distress, that I could find some lifting device at BB&B. I did, but they were for beds that already had a bed frame, so: useless. But I did notice a large assortment of loofahs, and I remembered I wanted/needed one, so that became my third item.
People in BB&B
Around 90% of the items in BB&B can be picked up and/or smelled. The practical result of this is that everyone around the store is either handling or checking the odor of the thing they may buy. All around the store, everyone sniffing, smelling, touching, squeezing.
The men in the store look as clueless as I was. Only when they are on their cell phone, presumably with the wife, or maybe the wife's good friend, do their expressions turn from exasperation to a stern, quizzical look, as if they're solving a crime. One guy on his cell phone looked very serious. A little while later, I saw him and his son on the massage chairs (Beyond!), and he seemed very amused (can I say it was sexual, almost? Too creepy?).
The women are on another level, a higher mission, and one I'll never understand enough to write about here.
How it went
It's semi-difficult to find someone who works at BB&B while you're there, but not too bad. Once I did find a guy, he was very friendly. He took me right to the dryer balls, and even handed them to me. I can't imagine, though, being able to sleep at night knowing exactly where the dryer balls are. I think I'd rather not know.
Of course, this was after about four laps of the store, and I took about two or three more by the time I left. The last two laps I spent considering the different colors of the loofahs offered. I'm pretty sure they were all meant for women, so I had to pick the least womanly of them, for my mental health (which is, as you may have guessed, quite unstable). I can't just mosey up to the register with a pink loofah. I'd have a convulsion.
For the lint rollers, at first I had a three-pack that would have cost me $10, because it looked like the only one being offered. This was about two and two-thirds more lint rolls than I needed. Luckily, on the next lap (or was it two laps later?) I found the lint roller section, which was about three feet wide and twenty feet high. The Giant Roller was out of reach (I assume they'll see sales of these at all-time lows. I'm pretty tall and couldn't touch them with my hand). I bypassed the rollers that had pictures of dogs, etc., on them, and eventually settled on AMERICA'S #1 SELLING LINT ROLLER, the ALL-in-One, 50% STICKIER dry cleaner grade tape, evercare PROFESSIONAL LINT ROLLER, good for Clothes, Pets, Home and Auto. I'm staying true to the capitalization of the packaging for your benefit. It worked fine on the khakis. $3.99.
The register
Once I got to the register, or in line for the register, I felt like you must feel now: Thank God, is this thing almost over? So I stood in line and the lady in front turns and says, "Would you like some coupons? They never expire." I said Sure. "How many things do you have, three? Here's three coupons." They were each for 20% off, which meant savings of:
1. Loofah, or mesh sponge, $2.99 reduced $0.60 to $2.39
2. Lint Roller, $3.99 reduced $0.80 to $3.19
3. Dryer Balls, $9.99 reduced $2.00 to $7.99
That's a grand total of $3.40 of savings. Yes, I do feel like these coupons were wasted on me, but that's at least one drink at the bar I saved, so I'm not complaining.
The lady also asked the woman behind me if she'd like some coupons. This lady in front of me had an army of coupons. As I waited, I read them, and they did have an expiration date, but apparently that is ignored. The woman behind me said, I do have coupons, can you use more than one? "You can use up to five per person per visit," coupon lady said, as if trained. I have no idea where she got this information.*** Thank you so much! the woman behind me said, in that false cheery voice adult women like to use. The woman behind me had a daughter who was just precious. She kept asking, can I have just a couple of those candies from that box? Just a couple? And the woman was like, yeah, uh, no it's almost lunch time. Which spawned this note to self: Give my kid come candy if she wants it, dammit. Too cute. At least she ignored the Hannah Montana coffee mug/calendar or whatever it was. Anyway...
The woman working the register deserves a raise. She was working her ass off. Sorry for the wait, she said; I had waited like a minute or two at most. Plus I got coupons out of it, so really, no big deal. I swear if you told me this woman had four arms I wouldn't argue with you.
So that's that. No real big conclusions drawn here. The music playing in the background was Christmas music, which I don't enjoy. I remember hearing "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," and thinking, uh, yeah right. But the coupon lady, and the lady behind me, and the guy who helped me, none gave me a reason to think otherwise. So, maybe it is.****
EXTRA STUFF YOU REALLY CAN SKIP IF I'VE ALREADY BORED YOU ENOUGH:
*Only of interest to those who have a grammar fetish. Why can't a single pair of pants be singular? Am I wrong that it's plural? It's weird: Take that pair of pants and put it/them on. I don't know. And I get paid to know this shit.
**Not sarcastic, really. Seriously. OK, a little.
***Rumor going around the office: BB&B coupons will expire, starting Jan. 1. Apparently this is news, and quite startling news at that. I didn't have the heart to tell the lady, though, 'cuz she clearly thought she was on top of that shit.
****It may be, if you discount the floundering economy, and the effect that will have on holiday suicides, which already is like the most popular time to off yourself. Happy holidays :)
UPDATE: As I'm not a prolific shopper, I was out of the loop on this. But apparently, two things: BB&B is common shorthand for the store (I thought I was being somewhat original). And they are legendary for giving out a hell of a lot of coupons, so that lady wasn't too out of the ordinary to have so many.
The store is located on Garner's Ferry Road, in the Target shopping center (that I'm sure has a name, I'm just not aware of it). Inside is, as you'd expect, full of all your bed and bath needs. I think the Beyond either refers to the Kitchenware section, or the assortment of Hannah Montana trinkets placed near the registers, in an obvious attempt to attract children as they wait in line next to their parents.
The store has an organized structure, although it's not immediately comprehensible. I saw signs for the aforementioned Kitchenware section, which had sub-headings like "utensils" and "cookware." Other signs, however, merely state the products' brand names, which were completely useless to me, and might as well been in French (Perhaps some were, I didn't have a notebook with me to record them). I think my ability to navigate this store in less than a half-hour bodes well for when I travel overseas.
The store is also quite cleverly designed. The high ceiling allows products to be stacked and hung well above eye-level, anywhere from 15-20 feet, which for most non-NBA players is unreachable. They also flood the aisles with little product booths. So as you walk around with your head cocked upward, you bump into these things, and apparently the effect is supposed to be one of, "Oh, look what I just bumped into, maybe I should purchase this item." I am happy to report the tactic was ineffective on me.
My purpose
I'm not really an impulse buyer, save the occasional pack of gum or peanut M&M's. So my trip to BB&B had three clear purchases in mind:
1. Lint Roller - I washed a pair of khakis with some new towels, and dried them together, so my pants had a thin layer of purple lint plastered on them.* Thus, a lint roller. And to preempt the questions, yes, I bought a purple towel, and yes, it is pretty bad-ass.
2. Dryer Balls - I'm never satisfied after I do a load of laundry. Always, the pants are too wrinkled, the shirts get messed up a bit, and just overall the dryer sheets I use don't reduce static cling enough for my liking. These Dryer Max Dryer Balls got a good write-up in The Gamecock**, and I thought the concept sounded cool. I was horrified when I got them that they had "As Seen on TV" plastered on the packaging, which made me think: scam. As you can see on the site, these are the same ass-holes behind ShamWow and Cash 4 Gold. This is so sad, but I hope they fluff up my laundry a bit, otherwise I'll be so disappointed that I actually bought them. I'm literally crying as I type this.
3. The third item was going to be bed-lifts. My bed is currently just a mattress atop a box spring, and I wanted to get that sucker off the ground. I was assured by my mother, who reads this blog so infrequently as to cause mental distress, that I could find some lifting device at BB&B. I did, but they were for beds that already had a bed frame, so: useless. But I did notice a large assortment of loofahs, and I remembered I wanted/needed one, so that became my third item.
People in BB&B
Around 90% of the items in BB&B can be picked up and/or smelled. The practical result of this is that everyone around the store is either handling or checking the odor of the thing they may buy. All around the store, everyone sniffing, smelling, touching, squeezing.
The men in the store look as clueless as I was. Only when they are on their cell phone, presumably with the wife, or maybe the wife's good friend, do their expressions turn from exasperation to a stern, quizzical look, as if they're solving a crime. One guy on his cell phone looked very serious. A little while later, I saw him and his son on the massage chairs (Beyond!), and he seemed very amused (can I say it was sexual, almost? Too creepy?).
The women are on another level, a higher mission, and one I'll never understand enough to write about here.
How it went
It's semi-difficult to find someone who works at BB&B while you're there, but not too bad. Once I did find a guy, he was very friendly. He took me right to the dryer balls, and even handed them to me. I can't imagine, though, being able to sleep at night knowing exactly where the dryer balls are. I think I'd rather not know.
Of course, this was after about four laps of the store, and I took about two or three more by the time I left. The last two laps I spent considering the different colors of the loofahs offered. I'm pretty sure they were all meant for women, so I had to pick the least womanly of them, for my mental health (which is, as you may have guessed, quite unstable). I can't just mosey up to the register with a pink loofah. I'd have a convulsion.
For the lint rollers, at first I had a three-pack that would have cost me $10, because it looked like the only one being offered. This was about two and two-thirds more lint rolls than I needed. Luckily, on the next lap (or was it two laps later?) I found the lint roller section, which was about three feet wide and twenty feet high. The Giant Roller was out of reach (I assume they'll see sales of these at all-time lows. I'm pretty tall and couldn't touch them with my hand). I bypassed the rollers that had pictures of dogs, etc., on them, and eventually settled on AMERICA'S #1 SELLING LINT ROLLER, the ALL-in-One, 50% STICKIER dry cleaner grade tape, evercare PROFESSIONAL LINT ROLLER, good for Clothes, Pets, Home and Auto. I'm staying true to the capitalization of the packaging for your benefit. It worked fine on the khakis. $3.99.
The register
Once I got to the register, or in line for the register, I felt like you must feel now: Thank God, is this thing almost over? So I stood in line and the lady in front turns and says, "Would you like some coupons? They never expire." I said Sure. "How many things do you have, three? Here's three coupons." They were each for 20% off, which meant savings of:
1. Loofah, or mesh sponge, $2.99 reduced $0.60 to $2.39
2. Lint Roller, $3.99 reduced $0.80 to $3.19
3. Dryer Balls, $9.99 reduced $2.00 to $7.99
That's a grand total of $3.40 of savings. Yes, I do feel like these coupons were wasted on me, but that's at least one drink at the bar I saved, so I'm not complaining.
The lady also asked the woman behind me if she'd like some coupons. This lady in front of me had an army of coupons. As I waited, I read them, and they did have an expiration date, but apparently that is ignored. The woman behind me said, I do have coupons, can you use more than one? "You can use up to five per person per visit," coupon lady said, as if trained. I have no idea where she got this information.*** Thank you so much! the woman behind me said, in that false cheery voice adult women like to use. The woman behind me had a daughter who was just precious. She kept asking, can I have just a couple of those candies from that box? Just a couple? And the woman was like, yeah, uh, no it's almost lunch time. Which spawned this note to self: Give my kid come candy if she wants it, dammit. Too cute. At least she ignored the Hannah Montana coffee mug/calendar or whatever it was. Anyway...
The woman working the register deserves a raise. She was working her ass off. Sorry for the wait, she said; I had waited like a minute or two at most. Plus I got coupons out of it, so really, no big deal. I swear if you told me this woman had four arms I wouldn't argue with you.
So that's that. No real big conclusions drawn here. The music playing in the background was Christmas music, which I don't enjoy. I remember hearing "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," and thinking, uh, yeah right. But the coupon lady, and the lady behind me, and the guy who helped me, none gave me a reason to think otherwise. So, maybe it is.****
EXTRA STUFF YOU REALLY CAN SKIP IF I'VE ALREADY BORED YOU ENOUGH:
*Only of interest to those who have a grammar fetish. Why can't a single pair of pants be singular? Am I wrong that it's plural? It's weird: Take that pair of pants and put it/them on. I don't know. And I get paid to know this shit.
**Not sarcastic, really. Seriously. OK, a little.
***Rumor going around the office: BB&B coupons will expire, starting Jan. 1. Apparently this is news, and quite startling news at that. I didn't have the heart to tell the lady, though, 'cuz she clearly thought she was on top of that shit.
****It may be, if you discount the floundering economy, and the effect that will have on holiday suicides, which already is like the most popular time to off yourself. Happy holidays :)
UPDATE: As I'm not a prolific shopper, I was out of the loop on this. But apparently, two things: BB&B is common shorthand for the store (I thought I was being somewhat original). And they are legendary for giving out a hell of a lot of coupons, so that lady wasn't too out of the ordinary to have so many.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Also, new feature
You'll see below each post there is a place for reactions. All you have to do is click one of the four options, then I'll start to get a better idea of what people do/don't like to read on here.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Some things I like that you may not know about
Banksy.
Scroll through his "outdoors" tab. It's awesome. Pretty much the coolest thing ever.
LCD Soundsystem.
I have yet to meet a single person who knows about this band. Everyone keeps trying to get me hooked on local copycats of John Mayer or Yellowcard. No thanks. Here's "All My Friends." I also recommend "North American Scum" and "I'm Losing My Edge." Their new single is "Someone Great."
Troy Patterson.
I posted him on Facebook a couple times I think. Maybe this is a little "inside baseball," but the dude's lead paragraphs are consistently the best I've read anywhere. That he spends his time reviewing horrible TV trash may actually help him in that area. Here's his review of the Tila Tequila show.
Anthony Jeselnik.
Where is this guy? Here's a link to a couple clips from his stand up. He's hilarious!
This list was supposed to have much more but my brain isn't working. So maybe I'll update it later or just make a new post.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
In case of boredom, click links
Some time ago, I was in a class called "Magazine Writing" (I think that's what it was called).
The whole deal was if the shit you wrote was good they'd post it to the Web site, called "Cyberhemia." I'm posting the link because some friends of I Hate... are featured, so you can browse if you'd like.
Two of my essays are up there:
One is on YouTube, and how videos are getting small and grainy, and if there is a possibility of art in such a medium. The theme of the course was "arts and entertainment," which I wasn't thrilled about, but I did my best all things considered.
Another one was on Heath Ledger's death, and the reaction to it. I'm pretty sure I was way off the topic the professor wanted me to write about. But, whatever, I think it stands on its own.
The real reason for this post is that for the final essay we were supposed to "immerse" ourselves in a given topic and write a heavily researched piece on it. I was lucky enough to have gotten the Monterey Pop Festival. I think my professor was a bit of a Hippie back in the day, or at least he's a big liberal.
Anyway I wrote the damn thing in the library and e-mailed it in. I was tired and grumpy and confused and just generally having one of those days. But I thought what I wrote was pretty good: funny, interesting, personal. But I never had a copy on my computer. And the professor never graded me on it or gave me any feedback. I did get an A in the class, though. But the essay I turned in was so downright crazy I wanted to see what he had to say.
OK so, way too much intro, but I thought the stage had to be set. I found the essay going through my e-mail's "Sent mail" folder (for a completely unrelated reason). So I thought I'd post it here for your enjoyment. Read it, if you'd like, and post a comment, please. I've made only two minor edits.
I suppose it could be simple enough. Tell the story of the Monterey International Pop Festival, the three-day 1967 event in San Francisco that introduced future legends like Jimi Hendrix and The Who to widespread American audiences. More than 200,000 people attended the Festival in Monterey, Calif., less than 100 miles down the coast from San Francisco, the Hippie capital of the world. But my concern is that all research and immersion aside, I will still not be able to beat the Festival’s Wikipedia page for tone and accuracy. If I take a straightforward approach, give the who, what, where and why of the event as it has been told in the media, what good will that possibly bring? So indulge me, as I write about the drug-infused “Summer of Love,” because I’m going to take a trip of my own.
How can I tell this story better than someone who was there, at the Festival, or at least alive during that time and can testify to the general air that hung over the country? Because in order to fully understand the Monterey Festival, and its importance, you have to consider the Sixties, the Hippies, the Vietnam War and what they all mean in the 21st century.
I know what I think about those things I’ve just listed. I know what most of the media thinks – they’re of that generation and look back upon the free love age with nostalgia and fondness afforded to them by their cushy jobs and pension plans. But what about Americans at large and American culture? As the Baby Boomers start to retire and their ability to shape the conventional narrative expires, what legacy will they have left?
“Monterey – a celebration of youthful naiveté,” writes Grace Slick, of Jefferson Airplane, one of the headline acts in the Festival. “A last desperate whoop of careless freedom,” before the Draft took the men off to Vietnam, writes Glenys Roberts, an attendee, 40 years later in the (UK) Daily Mail. She credits Janis Joplin as the high point. But by 1970, Janis Joplin was dead. So were Jimi Hendrix and Otis Redding, a soul legend. I’ve never known the hope of the Sixties without knowing that, yeah, drugs are probably bad for you, that people died, that the extreme nature of the era probably led to Nixon, Jimmy Carter and, worst yet, the Reagan Conservative Revolution.
So let’s get the established facts out of the way. The music was undoubtedly incredible. I love listening to the rock from this era. Turbulent times lead to great art. Oddly, the media was much more critical of the music when it came out than they are now. And while some like to set up Monterey as the precursor to Woodstock, or a more pure version untainted by mainstream acceptance, the music for both events was essentially the same. Craig McGregor writes in the Times: “The cruelest paradox of the Woodstock nation is that it has been liberated, primarily, by the black race from which it has borrowed its music, dance, language, style and much of its sense of brotherhood – but that so far it has done little to free those who freed it.” Grace Slick would blame others: “For a couple of years in the late sixties, no matter what was going on in the world, our generation happily assumed that with love and education we could change outdated social systems. One huge thing that we missed, 90% of the population is genetically imbued with sub mediocre reasoning skills. No matter how much you hug them or read to them, there’s no correcting stupid.”
Monterey lives on, most likely, because it was recorded and turned into a documentary by director D.A. Pennebaker. It’s sort-of a cool thing to know about when you’re high and talking about great music. “Yea, man,” one might say, “That’s where Hendrix and The Who and Janis Joplin came to America.” Then you'll look up Jefferson Airplane’s White Rabbit on YouTube and maybe type in “Hendrix Monterey” and call up his performance.
Roberts writes that the Festival “celebrated a genuine new pacifist streak among the young which gathered such momentum that, eight years later, it led to the end of the Vietnam War.” Eight years? Is she really proud of that? Nixon ended the war; do you think he was a crowning achievement of the flower-power movement? She is quick to hedge her fascination with the event – crowing about the dangers of psychedelic drugs as she giddily recalls Timothy Leary telling kids to “turn on, tune in and drop out.” The same crowd that tells me on a near daily basis to apply for internships and work my rear end off so I can get a good job looks back upon their lazy, drug-filled youth with such reverence that the hypocrisy is palpable. We’ve had the fun, they say, we’ve had the craziness, now settle into your pre-packaged, mainstream Main Street existence. And then these same people wonder why we want to hang around the house until we’re 26, or 29, or even later. We’ve largely missed out on the youthful naiveté that you rub in our faces with your superior music and revolution – even one that largely failed.
The supposed “counterculture” that the Hippies thrust upon America is treated with such reverence by the media that I have to be a little suspicious. It seems the Boomers have been writing the rules for a long time now. Newsweek said it best, when it marked the 40th anniversary of the Summer of Love: “The fact is, we're paying a lot more attention to those long-ago months now than we did back then, when they were actually happening… The boomer nostalgia machinery has been running full tilt.” The article goes on to say that it’s difficult to impose coherence on an inherently unruly time. I, for one, am still quite confused how to process it all. And in the meantime, I’ll have my own youthful college rebellion.
I’m rambling now. I haven’t had much sleep. I procrastinated, but I always do that. This may not make much sense. I may not get the grade I want. I know I’m not supposed to discuss grades in a paper, I don’t think, but this is going to be graded, so why not address it? I’ve used too many questions. But that’s all I can come up with. I know I could have done this straightforward, quoted the thirty or so articles I’ve read, and done a good job. But it would have been something that someone else could have done much better. I can only make this unique if I give my own perspective. I’ve been up all night. I had to work late. I couldn’t sleep. I think I’m addicted to the Food Network. I think I’ll have a nap now.
The whole deal was if the shit you wrote was good they'd post it to the Web site, called "Cyberhemia." I'm posting the link because some friends of I Hate... are featured, so you can browse if you'd like.
Two of my essays are up there:
One is on YouTube, and how videos are getting small and grainy, and if there is a possibility of art in such a medium. The theme of the course was "arts and entertainment," which I wasn't thrilled about, but I did my best all things considered.
Another one was on Heath Ledger's death, and the reaction to it. I'm pretty sure I was way off the topic the professor wanted me to write about. But, whatever, I think it stands on its own.
The real reason for this post is that for the final essay we were supposed to "immerse" ourselves in a given topic and write a heavily researched piece on it. I was lucky enough to have gotten the Monterey Pop Festival. I think my professor was a bit of a Hippie back in the day, or at least he's a big liberal.
Anyway I wrote the damn thing in the library and e-mailed it in. I was tired and grumpy and confused and just generally having one of those days. But I thought what I wrote was pretty good: funny, interesting, personal. But I never had a copy on my computer. And the professor never graded me on it or gave me any feedback. I did get an A in the class, though. But the essay I turned in was so downright crazy I wanted to see what he had to say.
OK so, way too much intro, but I thought the stage had to be set. I found the essay going through my e-mail's "Sent mail" folder (for a completely unrelated reason). So I thought I'd post it here for your enjoyment. Read it, if you'd like, and post a comment, please. I've made only two minor edits.
Jimi Lit the Guitar on Fire, By the Way
I suppose it could be simple enough. Tell the story of the Monterey International Pop Festival, the three-day 1967 event in San Francisco that introduced future legends like Jimi Hendrix and The Who to widespread American audiences. More than 200,000 people attended the Festival in Monterey, Calif., less than 100 miles down the coast from San Francisco, the Hippie capital of the world. But my concern is that all research and immersion aside, I will still not be able to beat the Festival’s Wikipedia page for tone and accuracy. If I take a straightforward approach, give the who, what, where and why of the event as it has been told in the media, what good will that possibly bring? So indulge me, as I write about the drug-infused “Summer of Love,” because I’m going to take a trip of my own.
How can I tell this story better than someone who was there, at the Festival, or at least alive during that time and can testify to the general air that hung over the country? Because in order to fully understand the Monterey Festival, and its importance, you have to consider the Sixties, the Hippies, the Vietnam War and what they all mean in the 21st century.
I know what I think about those things I’ve just listed. I know what most of the media thinks – they’re of that generation and look back upon the free love age with nostalgia and fondness afforded to them by their cushy jobs and pension plans. But what about Americans at large and American culture? As the Baby Boomers start to retire and their ability to shape the conventional narrative expires, what legacy will they have left?
“Monterey – a celebration of youthful naiveté,” writes Grace Slick, of Jefferson Airplane, one of the headline acts in the Festival. “A last desperate whoop of careless freedom,” before the Draft took the men off to Vietnam, writes Glenys Roberts, an attendee, 40 years later in the (UK) Daily Mail. She credits Janis Joplin as the high point. But by 1970, Janis Joplin was dead. So were Jimi Hendrix and Otis Redding, a soul legend. I’ve never known the hope of the Sixties without knowing that, yeah, drugs are probably bad for you, that people died, that the extreme nature of the era probably led to Nixon, Jimmy Carter and, worst yet, the Reagan Conservative Revolution.
So let’s get the established facts out of the way. The music was undoubtedly incredible. I love listening to the rock from this era. Turbulent times lead to great art. Oddly, the media was much more critical of the music when it came out than they are now. And while some like to set up Monterey as the precursor to Woodstock, or a more pure version untainted by mainstream acceptance, the music for both events was essentially the same. Craig McGregor writes in the Times: “The cruelest paradox of the Woodstock nation is that it has been liberated, primarily, by the black race from which it has borrowed its music, dance, language, style and much of its sense of brotherhood – but that so far it has done little to free those who freed it.” Grace Slick would blame others: “For a couple of years in the late sixties, no matter what was going on in the world, our generation happily assumed that with love and education we could change outdated social systems. One huge thing that we missed, 90% of the population is genetically imbued with sub mediocre reasoning skills. No matter how much you hug them or read to them, there’s no correcting stupid.”
Monterey lives on, most likely, because it was recorded and turned into a documentary by director D.A. Pennebaker. It’s sort-of a cool thing to know about when you’re high and talking about great music. “Yea, man,” one might say, “That’s where Hendrix and The Who and Janis Joplin came to America.” Then you'll look up Jefferson Airplane’s White Rabbit on YouTube and maybe type in “Hendrix Monterey” and call up his performance.
Roberts writes that the Festival “celebrated a genuine new pacifist streak among the young which gathered such momentum that, eight years later, it led to the end of the Vietnam War.” Eight years? Is she really proud of that? Nixon ended the war; do you think he was a crowning achievement of the flower-power movement? She is quick to hedge her fascination with the event – crowing about the dangers of psychedelic drugs as she giddily recalls Timothy Leary telling kids to “turn on, tune in and drop out.” The same crowd that tells me on a near daily basis to apply for internships and work my rear end off so I can get a good job looks back upon their lazy, drug-filled youth with such reverence that the hypocrisy is palpable. We’ve had the fun, they say, we’ve had the craziness, now settle into your pre-packaged, mainstream Main Street existence. And then these same people wonder why we want to hang around the house until we’re 26, or 29, or even later. We’ve largely missed out on the youthful naiveté that you rub in our faces with your superior music and revolution – even one that largely failed.
The supposed “counterculture” that the Hippies thrust upon America is treated with such reverence by the media that I have to be a little suspicious. It seems the Boomers have been writing the rules for a long time now. Newsweek said it best, when it marked the 40th anniversary of the Summer of Love: “The fact is, we're paying a lot more attention to those long-ago months now than we did back then, when they were actually happening… The boomer nostalgia machinery has been running full tilt.” The article goes on to say that it’s difficult to impose coherence on an inherently unruly time. I, for one, am still quite confused how to process it all. And in the meantime, I’ll have my own youthful college rebellion.
I’m rambling now. I haven’t had much sleep. I procrastinated, but I always do that. This may not make much sense. I may not get the grade I want. I know I’m not supposed to discuss grades in a paper, I don’t think, but this is going to be graded, so why not address it? I’ve used too many questions. But that’s all I can come up with. I know I could have done this straightforward, quoted the thirty or so articles I’ve read, and done a good job. But it would have been something that someone else could have done much better. I can only make this unique if I give my own perspective. I’ve been up all night. I had to work late. I couldn’t sleep. I think I’m addicted to the Food Network. I think I’ll have a nap now.
-Steve Yusko, 5/7/2008
UPDATE: In case this isn't abundantly clear, I think the professor for this class thought I was an ass-hole. And he was probably right.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Big 3 Bailout
This shit is crazy.
I could write for days on this.
But I'm not going to bore you.
My opinion: let 'em fail. They're not very good at what they do. That's why they have no money. So, let 'em fail. Yeah, those 3 million lost jobs are going to suck. But if you can't fix all the holes in the dam, might as well blow the bitch up.
Read this article for a more sane reason.
BONUS: No more Mustangs. Or Hummers. What will the douche bags of the future have to drive?
I could write for days on this.
But I'm not going to bore you.
My opinion: let 'em fail. They're not very good at what they do. That's why they have no money. So, let 'em fail. Yeah, those 3 million lost jobs are going to suck. But if you can't fix all the holes in the dam, might as well blow the bitch up.
Read this article for a more sane reason.
BONUS: No more Mustangs. Or Hummers. What will the douche bags of the future have to drive?
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Plaxico
So I don't want to waste too much time on this. Three things:
1. Sean Taylor. Sean Taylor. Sean Taylor. Joey Porter. Steve Smith. I'd carry a gun, too. These NFL players have a big target on their heads. I don't blame Plax for wanting to have a gun, he should have (and, I think, could have) done it legally. Or get some dude to follow you around. You are fucking rich.
2. This whole nonsense about the Giants losing focus. It's completely overblown, and is just something for the hundreds of ex-NLF players/jackasses to talk about on TV. They lost a game against a team that needed the win much, much more. The Giants are 11-2, and have dealt with Plaxico-related issues for years now, including last year, when they won the Super Bowl. Like I said I'm trying to not waste too much time on this, but it's utter bullshit. Which brings me to:
3. ESPN. And sports media in general. But especially ESPN. They cover sports-related stories like the Plaxico thing with all the nuance and sense of perspective that cable news channels have. Which is to say: none. They are the ones who ask all the questions about Plaxico, rephrasing them again and again to try to get the players to say something controversial or worthy of Sportscenter. And then they are the exact same people who say, "Well, with all these questions, you wonder how they will keep focus." And then if the Giants win, they say, brilliant job keeping focus. If they lose, it's all due to lack of focus.
Maybe the fucking Eagles won because the Giants didn't play well and the Eagles wanted to win more and thereby scored more points than the Giants. Why is every game like some Desperate Housewives psychodrama? I just don't get it. Attn: ESPN. YOU ARE RUINING SPORTS. Please stop, thanks.
1. Sean Taylor. Sean Taylor. Sean Taylor. Joey Porter. Steve Smith. I'd carry a gun, too. These NFL players have a big target on their heads. I don't blame Plax for wanting to have a gun, he should have (and, I think, could have) done it legally. Or get some dude to follow you around. You are fucking rich.
2. This whole nonsense about the Giants losing focus. It's completely overblown, and is just something for the hundreds of ex-NLF players/jackasses to talk about on TV. They lost a game against a team that needed the win much, much more. The Giants are 11-2, and have dealt with Plaxico-related issues for years now, including last year, when they won the Super Bowl. Like I said I'm trying to not waste too much time on this, but it's utter bullshit. Which brings me to:
3. ESPN. And sports media in general. But especially ESPN. They cover sports-related stories like the Plaxico thing with all the nuance and sense of perspective that cable news channels have. Which is to say: none. They are the ones who ask all the questions about Plaxico, rephrasing them again and again to try to get the players to say something controversial or worthy of Sportscenter. And then they are the exact same people who say, "Well, with all these questions, you wonder how they will keep focus." And then if the Giants win, they say, brilliant job keeping focus. If they lose, it's all due to lack of focus.
Maybe the fucking Eagles won because the Giants didn't play well and the Eagles wanted to win more and thereby scored more points than the Giants. Why is every game like some Desperate Housewives psychodrama? I just don't get it. Attn: ESPN. YOU ARE RUINING SPORTS. Please stop, thanks.
SNL: 12/6/08
I'm generally a SNL hater. I thought Mad TV was funnier, until I actually watched whole episodes of that show from start to finish, and then just found something else to do on Saturday nights.
But I found myself with nothing to do last Saturday after work and tuned in to SNL. It had to be one of the funniest post-Will Ferrell show yet.
The driving forces behind the laughter were Andy Samberg and host John Malkovich. Samberg had a great sketch where he played the 9-year-old boy who wrote the book on how to talk to girls. Samberg's M.O. is the same almost every time: set you up by lulling you into a slight boredom, and then hit you with some mighty offensive/hilarious stuff. He did it here, predictably, by dropping some actual no-holds-barred advice.
That "Mi Scuzi" guy from EuroTrip did a funny Boy George. He might actually have talent. And Kenan did a funny Plaxico. I mean, when you shoot yourself in the leg it's like a 75 mph fastball down the middle for comedy.
Malkovich was funny by appealing to his inner Walken and being as weird and creepy as can be.
There was another skit where he played like a deformed pre-teen girl that was so sick and funny but I don't think NBC has it up. It was just plain weird, too.
Then, of course, the kicker. I'm not going to give away the title, but I'm sure most of you have seen it now. It so completely took me by surprise. I thought they were saying "piss" because the alternative, I thought, couldn't be broadcast on TV. I was wrong. I rewound the damn thing on my DVR and nearly cried. Watch below:
But I found myself with nothing to do last Saturday after work and tuned in to SNL. It had to be one of the funniest post-Will Ferrell show yet.
The driving forces behind the laughter were Andy Samberg and host John Malkovich. Samberg had a great sketch where he played the 9-year-old boy who wrote the book on how to talk to girls. Samberg's M.O. is the same almost every time: set you up by lulling you into a slight boredom, and then hit you with some mighty offensive/hilarious stuff. He did it here, predictably, by dropping some actual no-holds-barred advice.
That "Mi Scuzi" guy from EuroTrip did a funny Boy George. He might actually have talent. And Kenan did a funny Plaxico. I mean, when you shoot yourself in the leg it's like a 75 mph fastball down the middle for comedy.
Malkovich was funny by appealing to his inner Walken and being as weird and creepy as can be.
There was another skit where he played like a deformed pre-teen girl that was so sick and funny but I don't think NBC has it up. It was just plain weird, too.
Then, of course, the kicker. I'm not going to give away the title, but I'm sure most of you have seen it now. It so completely took me by surprise. I thought they were saying "piss" because the alternative, I thought, couldn't be broadcast on TV. I was wrong. I rewound the damn thing on my DVR and nearly cried. Watch below:
Don't expect much...
...from I Hate... between now and and Jan. 1. Work plus a trip home means less time for blogging. When the new year starts, I'll see if there isn't something to spice this thing up, maybe attract more visitors. Until then, look for the usual, only slightly less updated.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Ch-Ch-Changes
OK, so I realize this is my third post on late-night TV in a short time.
But bear with me.
Because the institutions of late night TV are as American as apple pie.
And in 2009, we're in for a change.
Conan is set to take over at The Tonight Show in March, and Jimmy Fallon will fill in behind Conan at Late Night.
I'm a big Conan fan, and I'm excited about the move. But that leaves a gaping hole at the 12:30* time, because Jimmy Fallon is a ginormous tool, and Craig Ferguson (at CBS) has a thick accent.**
But I'll get to that below. What I want to say most is how torn I'm going to be between Conan and David Letterman. I've always been a Dave and Conan guy. CBS first, NBC after. Conan is kind of like the people's champ, and a college-age king, so I'm interested to see what he does with The Tonight Show. But, if you haven't been watching, Dave has been putting on the best late night TV I have ever seen.
It isn't as crazy as the old Dave or the old Conan (Dave would fuck with drive-thru people, Conan and his masturbating bear). But it's GOOD. Like, extremely well done.
Two things are contributing, I think.
1. Dave becoming a father. It has given him a new outlook, and an entirely different attitude. He seems more upbeat, which makes him that much funnier. He hosts like the show is just something he does, like it's unimportant, which gives it a breeziness that is quite appealing. A little while ago, Dave had Biff put his son's teddy bear on that fake bridge backdrop. This, right before he had Barack Obama on. Listening to Dave as he describes a conversation with his son is funny, emotional and just damn good TV. When he talks about having a child, he does it in such a universal way. It's so easy to imagine yourself in his shoes.
2. Politics (well, related to 1.). I think Dave, the king of irony and self-deprecation, got a new outlook on life after he became a father. I think he started to care more about the future. And he got political. He went after Bush all the time, with stuff like "Great Moments in Presidential Speeches." He got into heated fights will Bill O'Reilly. He was firm and vocal about his anti-war views, and, to me, served as the Cronkite-like moral voice of our era. When Dave was against it, you knew something was wrong.
More than ever, Dave is just doing what he wants. And his instincts are good. I suggest tuning in.
I'm not sure I've convinced you, after reading what I just wrote. Here's another example. When Paris Hilton came on, right after she went to jail, she kept trying to change the subject. But that's all he wanted to talk about. And he kept bringing it up, again and again. It was a little uncomfortable, but extremely funny. And I think it's exactly what his viewers wanted to hear about, too.
And when John McCain snubbed him for Katie Couric (over the whole campaign-on-hold economy fiasco), he stole an internal feed to show McCain having makeup applied before his Couric interview. And the CBS News people were pissed but he just laughed at 'em. Then he had Couric on and spent the whole time making fun of Sarah Palin, basically. He forgot to talk about the McCain snub, and someone wrote an article about it in the NY Post. So he just puts a segment in the next day where he calls Couric to talk about it, and he goofs around with her until she's like, uh, I got to go, I have a show, too. It's genius in its simplicity and damn funny.
Stuff like this keeps happening. It's must-see TV.
UPDATE: I'm always trying to think, in my head, of three people, dead or alive, I'd like to have as dinner guests. It used to be a question they'd always ask athletes in the NY Post, which I grew up reading.*** Dave is always on the list. The other two are always the hardest. Carlin, Taibbi, David Foster Wallace, Bill Hicks, etc., etc. Maybe I'll have a post about this later.
*- One possibility is that ABC will nab Leno and bump Jimmy Kimmel back a little, which would instantly give them a huge place in the late night TV world that they've never had (presumably, assuming people watch The Tonight Show for Leno and not due to some brand or institutional loyalty.). And it would give me something to watch at 12:30 (Kimmel is a funny dude, but he relies on his security guards too much, and their stuff is inconsistent and often boring. But overall a funny show.)
**- I'm like legally deaf and accents are very hard to understand, especially on a small TV with tinny speakers. And captioning ruins jokes. I do think Ferguson is quite funny, though.
***And whose flashy and often offensive headlines are the type I instinctively come up with first when I'm writing headlines for a newspaper (if, say, that were my job, which I'm not confirming or denying). Some quick examples:
Holy Shiite (about the Koran in the toilet story)
Kiss Your Asteroid Goodbye
Wacko Jacko Backo
Let U$ Prey (About rapist priests...something about money too)
Hill No! (Clinton says she'll never run for president)
Jiggle All The Way (About getting boob jobs for Christmas)
But bear with me.
Because the institutions of late night TV are as American as apple pie.
And in 2009, we're in for a change.
Conan is set to take over at The Tonight Show in March, and Jimmy Fallon will fill in behind Conan at Late Night.
I'm a big Conan fan, and I'm excited about the move. But that leaves a gaping hole at the 12:30* time, because Jimmy Fallon is a ginormous tool, and Craig Ferguson (at CBS) has a thick accent.**
But I'll get to that below. What I want to say most is how torn I'm going to be between Conan and David Letterman. I've always been a Dave and Conan guy. CBS first, NBC after. Conan is kind of like the people's champ, and a college-age king, so I'm interested to see what he does with The Tonight Show. But, if you haven't been watching, Dave has been putting on the best late night TV I have ever seen.
It isn't as crazy as the old Dave or the old Conan (Dave would fuck with drive-thru people, Conan and his masturbating bear). But it's GOOD. Like, extremely well done.
Two things are contributing, I think.
1. Dave becoming a father. It has given him a new outlook, and an entirely different attitude. He seems more upbeat, which makes him that much funnier. He hosts like the show is just something he does, like it's unimportant, which gives it a breeziness that is quite appealing. A little while ago, Dave had Biff put his son's teddy bear on that fake bridge backdrop. This, right before he had Barack Obama on. Listening to Dave as he describes a conversation with his son is funny, emotional and just damn good TV. When he talks about having a child, he does it in such a universal way. It's so easy to imagine yourself in his shoes.
2. Politics (well, related to 1.). I think Dave, the king of irony and self-deprecation, got a new outlook on life after he became a father. I think he started to care more about the future. And he got political. He went after Bush all the time, with stuff like "Great Moments in Presidential Speeches." He got into heated fights will Bill O'Reilly. He was firm and vocal about his anti-war views, and, to me, served as the Cronkite-like moral voice of our era. When Dave was against it, you knew something was wrong.
More than ever, Dave is just doing what he wants. And his instincts are good. I suggest tuning in.
I'm not sure I've convinced you, after reading what I just wrote. Here's another example. When Paris Hilton came on, right after she went to jail, she kept trying to change the subject. But that's all he wanted to talk about. And he kept bringing it up, again and again. It was a little uncomfortable, but extremely funny. And I think it's exactly what his viewers wanted to hear about, too.
And when John McCain snubbed him for Katie Couric (over the whole campaign-on-hold economy fiasco), he stole an internal feed to show McCain having makeup applied before his Couric interview. And the CBS News people were pissed but he just laughed at 'em. Then he had Couric on and spent the whole time making fun of Sarah Palin, basically. He forgot to talk about the McCain snub, and someone wrote an article about it in the NY Post. So he just puts a segment in the next day where he calls Couric to talk about it, and he goofs around with her until she's like, uh, I got to go, I have a show, too. It's genius in its simplicity and damn funny.
Stuff like this keeps happening. It's must-see TV.
UPDATE: I'm always trying to think, in my head, of three people, dead or alive, I'd like to have as dinner guests. It used to be a question they'd always ask athletes in the NY Post, which I grew up reading.*** Dave is always on the list. The other two are always the hardest. Carlin, Taibbi, David Foster Wallace, Bill Hicks, etc., etc. Maybe I'll have a post about this later.
*- One possibility is that ABC will nab Leno and bump Jimmy Kimmel back a little, which would instantly give them a huge place in the late night TV world that they've never had (presumably, assuming people watch The Tonight Show for Leno and not due to some brand or institutional loyalty.). And it would give me something to watch at 12:30 (Kimmel is a funny dude, but he relies on his security guards too much, and their stuff is inconsistent and often boring. But overall a funny show.)
**- I'm like legally deaf and accents are very hard to understand, especially on a small TV with tinny speakers. And captioning ruins jokes. I do think Ferguson is quite funny, though.
***And whose flashy and often offensive headlines are the type I instinctively come up with first when I'm writing headlines for a newspaper (if, say, that were my job, which I'm not confirming or denying). Some quick examples:
Holy Shiite (about the Koran in the toilet story)
Kiss Your Asteroid Goodbye
Wacko Jacko Backo
Let U$ Prey (About rapist priests...something about money too)
Hill No! (Clinton says she'll never run for president)
Jiggle All The Way (About getting boob jobs for Christmas)
Friday, December 05, 2008
It's a celebration
Today was the last day I had to attend undergraduate college. So we're celebrating at I Hate...Have a drink, be merry!
I thought the best way to express my emotions is through song. And really, what is more beautiful than an upbeat early 90s techno dance song. Songs like:
Shi-pow-pow!
That didn't get your heart beating? How about this?
Oh yea, now you're groovin'
What's next?
Listen to that riff! Oh man... And that falsetto! OK I don't really know what a falsetto is.
More here!
And here!
And here!
Ace of Base: Awesome
Don't stop
Doesn't this just make you want to dance. Like, say, this nice young lady:
Didn't get everything? Leave a link in the comments.
But don't forget: THE BEST SONG EVER!
I thought the best way to express my emotions is through song. And really, what is more beautiful than an upbeat early 90s techno dance song. Songs like:
Shi-pow-pow!
That didn't get your heart beating? How about this?
Oh yea, now you're groovin'
What's next?
Listen to that riff! Oh man... And that falsetto! OK I don't really know what a falsetto is.
More here!
And here!
And here!
Ace of Base: Awesome
Don't stop
Doesn't this just make you want to dance. Like, say, this nice young lady:
Didn't get everything? Leave a link in the comments.
But don't forget: THE BEST SONG EVER!
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Why I'm angry all the time and in most of these posts...
I don't know.
And fuck you for asking.
In other news, I thought I'd post the Web site for the paper I've been work at for the past semester.
There are some good stories on there, including one giving background on Olympic-sensation Michael Phelps' visit to Columbia.
Check 'em out if you're bored.
ALSO: Check out the comments of the Clemson-Carolina post. Some good discussion going on there.
And fuck you for asking.
In other news, I thought I'd post the Web site for the paper I've been work at for the past semester.
There are some good stories on there, including one giving background on Olympic-sensation Michael Phelps' visit to Columbia.
Check 'em out if you're bored.
ALSO: Check out the comments of the Clemson-Carolina post. Some good discussion going on there.
Congratulations grad!
I hesitate to do this, because for all I know he's probably a nice guy. But I am in a foul mood, so might as well just fucking do it.
Also: "I would like to be the first to wish you the best of luck in all of your future endeavors." Well, thank you. While you are certainly the first to congratulate me for graduating, seeing how I haven't graduated yet, you are not the first to wish me the best of luck in my endeavors. And considering what some of these endeavors are going to be, I doubt you'd want me to have very much luck at them at all. Because my first endeavor is to rip your e-mail in a barely read blog post. They'll just get worse after that.
Then, OK, to the business at hand, Mr. Gaeckle, the "Commencement Ceremonies" which you insist on capitalizing throughout, needlessly. What follows is corporate gibberish that boils down to: Stay in your seat through the whole ceremony, and don't cheer. What a novelty it would have been if the e-mail said that.
Instead we get: "It is important that you remain present for the duration of the ceremony to avoid the confusion and disorder of early departure."
And then: "...please encourage your relatives and guests to minimize cheers and shouts as your name is announced – your fellow Gamecocks behind you may not hear their names called during this once in a lifetime event if there is excessive noise."
I completely agree that people should generally STFU at these things. I would probably go if everyone promised to say as little as possible, but my guess is they'll have some speakers up there going on and on with gibberish of the kind featured in this e-mail.
BRIEF RESPITE: Yesterday I watched Cash Cab. One question was: What is the latin term that means "It does not follow." The answer was: non sequitur. We use the term, sometimes, to refer to a comment that has nothing to do with a preceding comment. Example, from WIKIAnswers: The electoral college is an antiquated system, so I think I'll go shopping.
Another example, from Mr. Gackckkel: "As the Ceremony should last no more than two hours, we do ask that you remember to offer others the same courtesy that you deserve."
OK, so this forces me to ask: What if they Ceremony were longer? Shorter? Would that then mean I should forget to offer others the same courtesy? Do I then not deserve the courtesy? Why is the courtesy based on how long the Ceremony is going last? And Why is Ceremony Capitalized?
"Together we can make this year's Commencement Ceremony the best ever!"
Seriously? It's a December graduation. I don't know who is speaking at it. These things generally are tedious and boring. Does anyone really expect this to be the best ever? Is this supposed to be sarcastic? I would be so much happier if this was sarcasm.
Finally, the last paragraph. My comments in ( ).
"I thank you in advance for your cooperation in this (SUPER)serious matter (Oh, yeah, this is life or death here, buddy). Once again, congratulations on all of your achievements to date (Of which you know nothing about, and trust me, they're limited). I am confident there will be many more to come! (From where do you generate this confidence? Because we go to the same school?)"
Thanks for the form e-mail, you've given a minimal effort to address a ridiculous situation and accomplished nothing.
Have a nice fucking day.
I received this e-mail yesterday. Feel free to just skim over it, I'll be commenting on it below:
Dear Graduate,OK, let's start from the top. "Embark on a new journey?" Is that the best way you can describe it? And people wonder why I hate commencement ceremonies. It's because they are filled with this hallow language and bullshit.
Congratulations on your achievement! As you prepare to embark on a new journey, after your graduation from the University of South Carolina, the Office of Student Government and I would like to be the first to wish you the best of luck in all of your future endeavors. With all of your hard work finally paying off, we urge you to continue to keep in consideration the Commencement Ceremonies which are fast approaching.
It is well known that the Commencement Ceremonies are important to everyone involved. There are certain standards that must be maintained in order to preserve the sanctity and integrity of this special moment. It is important that you remain present for the duration of the ceremony to avoid the confusion and disorder of early departure. Also, please encourage your relatives and guests to minimize cheers and shouts as your name is announced-your fellow Gamecocks behind you may not hear their names called during this once in a lifetime event if there is excessive noise. As the Ceremony should last no more than two hours, we do ask that you remember to offer others the same courtesy that you deserve. Together we can make this year's Commencement Ceremony the best ever!
I thank you in advance for your cooperation in this serious matter. Once again, congratulations on all of your achievements to date. I am confident there will be many more to come!
Best regards,
Andrew Gaeckle
Student Body President
USC Student Government
Also: "I would like to be the first to wish you the best of luck in all of your future endeavors." Well, thank you. While you are certainly the first to congratulate me for graduating, seeing how I haven't graduated yet, you are not the first to wish me the best of luck in my endeavors. And considering what some of these endeavors are going to be, I doubt you'd want me to have very much luck at them at all. Because my first endeavor is to rip your e-mail in a barely read blog post. They'll just get worse after that.
Then, OK, to the business at hand, Mr. Gaeckle, the "Commencement Ceremonies" which you insist on capitalizing throughout, needlessly. What follows is corporate gibberish that boils down to: Stay in your seat through the whole ceremony, and don't cheer. What a novelty it would have been if the e-mail said that.
Instead we get: "It is important that you remain present for the duration of the ceremony to avoid the confusion and disorder of early departure."
And then: "...please encourage your relatives and guests to minimize cheers and shouts as your name is announced – your fellow Gamecocks behind you may not hear their names called during this once in a lifetime event if there is excessive noise."
I completely agree that people should generally STFU at these things. I would probably go if everyone promised to say as little as possible, but my guess is they'll have some speakers up there going on and on with gibberish of the kind featured in this e-mail.
BRIEF RESPITE: Yesterday I watched Cash Cab. One question was: What is the latin term that means "It does not follow." The answer was: non sequitur. We use the term, sometimes, to refer to a comment that has nothing to do with a preceding comment. Example, from WIKIAnswers: The electoral college is an antiquated system, so I think I'll go shopping.
Another example, from Mr. Gackckkel: "As the Ceremony should last no more than two hours, we do ask that you remember to offer others the same courtesy that you deserve."
OK, so this forces me to ask: What if they Ceremony were longer? Shorter? Would that then mean I should forget to offer others the same courtesy? Do I then not deserve the courtesy? Why is the courtesy based on how long the Ceremony is going last? And Why is Ceremony Capitalized?
"Together we can make this year's Commencement Ceremony the best ever!"
Seriously? It's a December graduation. I don't know who is speaking at it. These things generally are tedious and boring. Does anyone really expect this to be the best ever? Is this supposed to be sarcastic? I would be so much happier if this was sarcasm.
Finally, the last paragraph. My comments in ( ).
"I thank you in advance for your cooperation in this (SUPER)serious matter (Oh, yeah, this is life or death here, buddy). Once again, congratulations on all of your achievements to date (Of which you know nothing about, and trust me, they're limited). I am confident there will be many more to come! (From where do you generate this confidence? Because we go to the same school?)"
Thanks for the form e-mail, you've given a minimal effort to address a ridiculous situation and accomplished nothing.
Have a nice fucking day.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Notes on Clemson-Carolina 2008
I’ll address the Carolina football mess in quick hits, as anything that gets to be more than a few paragraphs has proven to degrade into a rambling mess of obscenities and obfuscation.
First, Carolina:
Smelley
Does not belong on a field wearing a Carolina jersey. Even if he had managed a late game comeback, it would have been like a guy who set the bomb being called a hero for evacuating the victims. All by himself, he made Carolina look like a bunch of idiots (which they may or may not be).
Adapting Suess, for Spurrier:
Didn’t turn out like we thought, huh? The N.C. State, Arkansas and Ole Miss wins look better now, don’t they? Or is it that the Georgia loss and the LSU loss look worse? And Vandy? Two years in a row? We had a big opportunity here and blew it. Which brings me to:
Spurrier
You just can’t add it up. If you bring in an offensive mastermind to coach, you can’t have what we have now: The only thing worth mentioning in the past four years is a Lou Holtz-recruited quarterback having a couple of good games and a defense that, when given a chance, can look outstanding. Other than exposure, what has Spurrier done that another coach couldn’t have? Four years in and the only hope at QB is a kid who is either dumb as a truck or whom Spurrier personally dislikes. Either of those sound appealing? Is the need for a Darrin Horn-type hire not dreadfully apparent to everyone? Dissenting opinions, please.
Garcia
Damnit I still like him. Make the playbook like 10 plays (hell we used the same stupid sneak play twice against Clemson) and let him run around out there. Make sure his options read: Look for Barnes, then look for Saunders, then run like hell. OK, I’m coaching here. I don’t know enough about the game to do that. But I did sit and watch the game today and get depressed as hell.
Clemson
Everything about this team is ugly. The colors. The fans. The uniforms. The players. The field. Their stadium. That rock. The town. Their helmets. Their conference. If only we could beat them...it’d help make their record match the rest of ‘em.
Florida
They call it “The Swamp” because something is in the water. It’s probably chemical. The whole place smells like shit. I hate Florida.
Georgia
You ever watch these thugs play? It's disgusting. Their grad school is the state penitentiary.
Tennessee
Sucks. So does Lane Kiffin.
The only silver lining in the whole thing is that Dabo Swinney is more likely to keep his job. That's a good thing, I think. Because he's not very good. We should have been beaten by 60.
I remember thinking up a really good insult during the game that involved a horribly offensive joke, but I've forgotten it now. Maybe it's for the best. I'm not editing this damn thing because I don't care enough to, so I don't mind if a few names are misspelled, etc.
If I think up anything else, I'll add it.
And who cares about the bowl game. It's time for Spurrier (or whoever is next in line) to remember that Clemson-Carolina sets the tone for the whole season. Today is case and point of that fact.
UPDATE: OK, minor edit. Not that it 'sets the tone' but that as goes the Clemson-Carolina game, goes our season. If we beat them its always a little better and more successful than if we lose. Imagine a few scenarios by which we have one more conference loss and a Clemson win. Very few of you would not take the Clemson win.
I'm down on Carolina. I don't think 'it' is going to happen under Spurrier in the next five years. The change in attitude has not come. It may be getting worse. Metaphors about old dogs and new tricks abound.
UPDATE 2: It's hard to read, but Ron Morris is right. Some - maybe even most - of the players look like the don't care if they win or lose. Maybe they just want to get to the pros. Maybe they just want to hit the bong and go to 5 points. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe it's time recruiters started taking a hard look at who they bring in to Columbia. We need winners.
Have fun in the NFL, Jared Cook.
First, Carolina:
Smelley
Does not belong on a field wearing a Carolina jersey. Even if he had managed a late game comeback, it would have been like a guy who set the bomb being called a hero for evacuating the victims. All by himself, he made Carolina look like a bunch of idiots (which they may or may not be).
Adapting Suess, for Spurrier:
- I will not start him here or there.
- I will not start him anywhere.
- I do not like that Smelley man.
- I do not like him, Steve-I-am.
Didn’t turn out like we thought, huh? The N.C. State, Arkansas and Ole Miss wins look better now, don’t they? Or is it that the Georgia loss and the LSU loss look worse? And Vandy? Two years in a row? We had a big opportunity here and blew it. Which brings me to:
Spurrier
You just can’t add it up. If you bring in an offensive mastermind to coach, you can’t have what we have now: The only thing worth mentioning in the past four years is a Lou Holtz-recruited quarterback having a couple of good games and a defense that, when given a chance, can look outstanding. Other than exposure, what has Spurrier done that another coach couldn’t have? Four years in and the only hope at QB is a kid who is either dumb as a truck or whom Spurrier personally dislikes. Either of those sound appealing? Is the need for a Darrin Horn-type hire not dreadfully apparent to everyone? Dissenting opinions, please.
Garcia
Damnit I still like him. Make the playbook like 10 plays (hell we used the same stupid sneak play twice against Clemson) and let him run around out there. Make sure his options read: Look for Barnes, then look for Saunders, then run like hell. OK, I’m coaching here. I don’t know enough about the game to do that. But I did sit and watch the game today and get depressed as hell.
Clemson
Everything about this team is ugly. The colors. The fans. The uniforms. The players. The field. Their stadium. That rock. The town. Their helmets. Their conference. If only we could beat them...it’d help make their record match the rest of ‘em.
Florida
They call it “The Swamp” because something is in the water. It’s probably chemical. The whole place smells like shit. I hate Florida.
Georgia
You ever watch these thugs play? It's disgusting. Their grad school is the state penitentiary.
Tennessee
Sucks. So does Lane Kiffin.
The only silver lining in the whole thing is that Dabo Swinney is more likely to keep his job. That's a good thing, I think. Because he's not very good. We should have been beaten by 60.
I remember thinking up a really good insult during the game that involved a horribly offensive joke, but I've forgotten it now. Maybe it's for the best. I'm not editing this damn thing because I don't care enough to, so I don't mind if a few names are misspelled, etc.
If I think up anything else, I'll add it.
And who cares about the bowl game. It's time for Spurrier (or whoever is next in line) to remember that Clemson-Carolina sets the tone for the whole season. Today is case and point of that fact.
UPDATE: OK, minor edit. Not that it 'sets the tone' but that as goes the Clemson-Carolina game, goes our season. If we beat them its always a little better and more successful than if we lose. Imagine a few scenarios by which we have one more conference loss and a Clemson win. Very few of you would not take the Clemson win.
I'm down on Carolina. I don't think 'it' is going to happen under Spurrier in the next five years. The change in attitude has not come. It may be getting worse. Metaphors about old dogs and new tricks abound.
UPDATE 2: It's hard to read, but Ron Morris is right. Some - maybe even most - of the players look like the don't care if they win or lose. Maybe they just want to get to the pros. Maybe they just want to hit the bong and go to 5 points. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe it's time recruiters started taking a hard look at who they bring in to Columbia. We need winners.
Have fun in the NFL, Jared Cook.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
More thoughts on late night TV
Another thing that really struck me about late night TV was the advertising. It's terrible.
See, most ads these days are anti-ads, they appeal to you by trying to be slightly ironic. They know you know its a commercial, so they want you to feel in on the joke as they sell you their beer or sneakers, etc.
Late night TV is not that subtle. Late night advertising is like a hammer of obviousness to your face, with a dash of completely weird sprinkled on your corpse. Here are some examples:
Air Wick commercials. The one I saw had a frog-mother type. These here are rabbits. Notice rabbit-mother, forced to entertain for drunken husband-rabbit. See husband-rabbit hung over, and later, aroused by Air Wick scents. See useless husband-rabbit inable to get lights on the Christmas tree. And the rabbit has an English accent, naturally.
Most of the commercials on late night TV are geared toward impoverished people, old people and people with health problems. It's incredibly depressing to watch, because you feel like defacto members of those groups. There are also the commericals for the "chat" or "talk" lines which may be phone sex-related. You find yourself repeating over and over, "I'm not old, I don't need Mucinex, I'm not dirt poor, I'm not dying." Except you know only like half of those things are true (I am pretty broke, and we're all dying).
This is why I need at least 100 channels. If I'm forced to linger on any one channel for too long, I start to notice things like in this post and the previous one, and my head starts to spin.
See, most ads these days are anti-ads, they appeal to you by trying to be slightly ironic. They know you know its a commercial, so they want you to feel in on the joke as they sell you their beer or sneakers, etc.
Late night TV is not that subtle. Late night advertising is like a hammer of obviousness to your face, with a dash of completely weird sprinkled on your corpse. Here are some examples:
Air Wick commercials. The one I saw had a frog-mother type. These here are rabbits. Notice rabbit-mother, forced to entertain for drunken husband-rabbit. See husband-rabbit hung over, and later, aroused by Air Wick scents. See useless husband-rabbit inable to get lights on the Christmas tree. And the rabbit has an English accent, naturally.
Most of the commercials on late night TV are geared toward impoverished people, old people and people with health problems. It's incredibly depressing to watch, because you feel like defacto members of those groups. There are also the commericals for the "chat" or "talk" lines which may be phone sex-related. You find yourself repeating over and over, "I'm not old, I don't need Mucinex, I'm not dirt poor, I'm not dying." Except you know only like half of those things are true (I am pretty broke, and we're all dying).
This is why I need at least 100 channels. If I'm forced to linger on any one channel for too long, I start to notice things like in this post and the previous one, and my head starts to spin.
Thoughts on late night TV
Spent some time watching television last night. I only have the basic, antenna-reception cable, and it was late, so obviously: Conan. His guest was X-Men star Hugh Jackman, who was on hand to promote Australia, the movie he did with Nicole Kidman and director Baz Lurhmann (all are Aussies).
So anyway, if you'd like, go watch his appearance on the show. (You can skip ahead).
Am I the only one completely creeped out by this?
The first thing they talk about is that he is 'Sexiest Man Alive.' And he tries to come off as a hard-ass, talking about his 'mates.' Then he whips out a wallet-sized photo of his People magazine cover, which he announces the audience will be lucky enough to have. The whole thing is odd. Maybe its only because I watch Entourage and think I know how this whole business works. How these talk shows and magazines basically collude to pump up the fame and egos of these guys that star in hundred-million-dollar movies.
There's no real substance there. He's faking it, whatever it is, and it comes off horribly condescending.
I'm not sure if anyone else is going to agree with me. But the audience seemed to be just as bored and/or confused.
BONUS POINTS HERE: For Conan. He tries to get Jackman (whom I like, for the record) to give an example of phrases that Australians use that Americans don't know or understand. The dude comes up with, "Kick the bucket," which is so trite and American a phrase they made a sappy old-man movie about it. Conan's response: Well, yeah, we know that one. "Shut the door means close the door..." he said. Nice.
And then the odd smuggling the buggie(sp?) thing, where he's basically like, "Hey, girls, let me talk about my kibbles and bits for ya, I'm sexiest man alive!" in that Crocodile-Dundee, my-knife-is-bigger-than-your-knife dick-swinging voice.
I hope this is not coming off as jealousy. I'm just offended by the canned questions and the obvious advertisements (more later). And the awkwardness was palpable. OK basically this guy can act and all but his charm is so forced and faked he comes off like a boob. Like the complete opposite of Clooney. That's just what I think.
I still might see that movie, anyway.
UPDATE: If you don't care enough about any of this, you can skip ahead in the Conan episode to Tom Morello, performing Whatever it Takes. I wasn't even sure what to make of this song at first, but I think it's pretty damn good. Watch 'til the end.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Best Week Ever!
Last week we had the most visitors to this blog since its inception. Thanks to all 15-20 of you.
And that's enough stuff for now.
The next week or so will not be as interesting, I'm sorry to say. With no internet at home, and only a few days of work (Thanksgiving), this blog will go relatively dormant.
***********
Sports
It appears we are heading into BCS controversy, with the 10-1 Sooners, Longhorns and Red Raiders clogging up the Big 12 South. I'm not sure there is any way to rationally argue one team over another, except to say that Texas Tech lost major points by not even competing with Oklahoma. But, then, USC only has one loss. And if Florida beats Alabama in the SEC Championship, that will be two SEC teams with one loss. It's a fine mess, but one that has made this season one to remember. (Unless you happen to be a Clemson fan, in which case this season has sucked royally. Ditto Notre Dame and their Sweaty Coach Charlie Donuts.)
*********
Politics
Bo-Oring. Wake me Jan. 20.
*********
Other stuff
I organized my room the other day. It was an odd experience, as I had all of my things strewn about my floor, organized according to their similarity (e.g., books, CDs, etc.). Later I may post a chart of some kind to give you insight into my "Stuff."
The only reason my "Stuff" really had any special significance to me is that I've been watching DVDs constantly, as my house is currently without cable or internet.
And one of my DVDs is called "Carlin's Best Stuff" and features this skit, titled "Stuff"
And that's enough stuff for now.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Further readings...
It is with apprehension that I do this, as nothing on this blog identifies me by my full name.
So this is like an admission of who I am, which isn't worrisome now, as only a handful of people visit this blog regularly. And, uh, it can be quite vulgar and brutally honest on here. Anyway I'm always nervous putting things out there on the internet.
But, honestly, what the hell. Might as go for it.
So here are a couple links to stories I've written for other publications:
This story will be published in a print edition of the Carolina Reporter, online for the Carolina Reporter and on the Web site of the School of Journalism and Mass Communications, where the previous link leads.
I could write another 1,000 words or so on how nervous I was interviewing Kristol before the speech. It was just me, a reporter from The State, Kristol and the Dean of my college in a room. Maybe I'll tell that story another day. (Like, after I graduate; or, after I have the damn diploma in my hand).
But anyway I wanted to give my impressions of the event. My original plan was to sort of list the (many) grievances that left-leaning folks have against Kristol. But he surprised me with his honesty and straightforwardness (and intelligence - some have said he's a lightweight intellectually. I disagree. He may not be able to predict things worth a damn but he's no dummy). Maybe I was just overmatched, but I came away with much respect for the man, even if I disagree with him. The article as reported is meant to be my honest assessment of the lecture...not just what happened, but how it felt to be there. I hope it's worth reading.
Next is an article on Krystal Webber, who worked for Joe Biden's Senate re-election campaign.
It's a short Q&A. I was impressed with Ms. Webber, who was funny and engaging, but also a little more "on message" than when I had last spoken with her. It was interesting how quickly she grew up while working for a high profile Senator. (Not to imply she wasn't grown up before, but when you are around politics a lot you understand the importance of being "on message," and it's a difficult thing to do without completely losing your personality. Ms. Webber had no trouble at all, and I think she has a bright future.)
She posted the article on Facebook, which I take to mean she liked it. That's good. She got a bunch of positive comments on it from friends and family. I wanted to do exactly that: showcase a USC student who we should all be proud of because of her impressive accomplishments.
That's all the self-aggrandizing I'll do for now.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Which Wich: delicious, evil
I thought of the idea for this post while consuming a few beers after one of those 14-hour work days that are becoming all too common (OK, well, I don't do 14 hours of work, but I'm at work for 14 hours, so the effect is ... similar).
Anyway I grabbed a Which Wich sandwich for dinner last night on a break from the job that pays me, and it was delicious. But it was also evil.
Here's how the place works for those of you not in the know. You go in, and there are ten bags you can choose from, each labeled with a sandwich type (Turkey, Italian, Vegetarian, etc.). So you pick a bag. Then there are a couple of sandwich options on there (For Italian: Grinder, Meatball, Pizza, etc.). You pick your sandwich option, using a red sharpie (provided). You pick your bread (White or Wheat). You then can check off all different types of sauces and toppings. (Oil and Vinegar, banana peppers, three different types of onions, mayo, etc.). Then you write your name at the bottom so they can call it out when they're done.
OK, so then you give the lady your bag, she charges you and forces a fake smile and punches your frequent-eater card. They hang the bags facing toward the preparer so that if you put a smiley face or a phallus or whatever on the back of the bag you can watch the progress of your sandwich. This step can be skipped if it's not too busy, or you can do it anyway just for the hell of it.
UPDATE: Ok, I'm editing here, I added this at the end. I've used the word sandwich throughout. Which Wich employees do not offer you the same courtesy. The call them "wiches," which I suppose reinforces the brand name or whatever. When they call out your sandwich and name, they say, "Hot wich for Steve," (if your name is Steve); it's kinda ridiculous when they're busy because it's like, um, I know what I ordered why are you telling everyone else? I'll stick with the full sandwich throughout because I hate abreevs, u kno?
END UPDATE
Here's where Which Wich is evil. The damn sandwich is too small. I don't know if insulting a sandwich's size carries the same weight as, say, insulting a man's package (two phallus references, one blog post, limit exceeded - blogger.com). It is true, though; the damn thing is smaller than say, Firehouse's medium, or Beezer's or Jimmy John's. But it's toasty and delicious, and it's fun to not have to talk much when ordering and always getting what you want.
OK I've stalled on the evil thing. It's evil because your instinct, upon your second visit and beyond, is to check off as much as possible when you're at the bag-scribbling part. Sure, you don't really want mushrooms and bell peppers and oil and vinegar AND mayo and mustard on that turkey sub, but you're worried you will still be hungry when the damn thing is over so you overcompensate. And it still tastes good, a little intense and weird, but good (it's toasted, I've mention this before).
While your taste-buds are working overtime and generally throwing a raucous party it's your stomach that has to clean up the morning after. Or, in the case of an overloaded Which Wich, it's usually about three hours later. I don't feel the need to get detailed here, but you know what I'm talking about.
(It's the shits, btw).
So there you have it. My review of Which Wich.
Want more restaurant reviews? Leave a comment. Pick a restaurant. I'll try to do it.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Jokes and jokes and...
CNN sets it up, and I'll knock it out.
What...did he leave Matthew McConaughey on the moon?
Ohhhh...damn...that's right....
Thank you, CNN headline writers.
Astronaut loses tool bag during spacewalk
What...did he leave Matthew McConaughey on the moon?
Ohhhh...damn...that's right....
Thank you, CNN headline writers.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Accurate driving
Basically, I'll try to impart an important idea about driving in this post.
The gist of the idea is this: Get out of my way.
But it certainly does not need to be that hostile.
Take this situational example. Every day I drive to work I take a right at the intersection of Woodrow St. and Devine St. What I like to do is turn right on a red light, because Devine isn't always that busy at 8:45 -- OK 8:52; I know, I'm usually running late. On most days this isn't a problem. But sometimes there will be an SUV, stopped there at the intersection, sitting evenly between the yellow line and the curb.
I'm trying to not make this sound too complicated. Move out of the way. If you are turning left, or going straight, get over toward the yellow line as far as you can. Put down the cell phone for 5 minutes and focus -- that's a big machine you're handling there, sweetheart, it would do everyone well if you paid it slight attention.
Same deal if there are two lanes.
Last night I was driving on Bull Street around the Elmwood intersection. There are at least two lanes that go straight. I noticed in my rearview mirror that the car behind me moved into the right lane. So I thought they probably were going to turn onto Elmwood. I moved over to the left, and what do you know, I guessed correctly.
To me, that's just common courtesy. It's the same reason I abstain from being an ass-hole for five seconds and let people cut in front of me when it seems the polite thing to do. Just a simple wave and it makes their driving easier, and because of that, mine.
Is any of this making any sense?
Drive accurately. Is that even possible?
I think it is. I think it should be taught in school, or something.
That's all.
The gist of the idea is this: Get out of my way.
But it certainly does not need to be that hostile.
Take this situational example. Every day I drive to work I take a right at the intersection of Woodrow St. and Devine St. What I like to do is turn right on a red light, because Devine isn't always that busy at 8:45 -- OK 8:52; I know, I'm usually running late. On most days this isn't a problem. But sometimes there will be an SUV, stopped there at the intersection, sitting evenly between the yellow line and the curb.
I'm trying to not make this sound too complicated. Move out of the way. If you are turning left, or going straight, get over toward the yellow line as far as you can. Put down the cell phone for 5 minutes and focus -- that's a big machine you're handling there, sweetheart, it would do everyone well if you paid it slight attention.
Same deal if there are two lanes.
Last night I was driving on Bull Street around the Elmwood intersection. There are at least two lanes that go straight. I noticed in my rearview mirror that the car behind me moved into the right lane. So I thought they probably were going to turn onto Elmwood. I moved over to the left, and what do you know, I guessed correctly.
To me, that's just common courtesy. It's the same reason I abstain from being an ass-hole for five seconds and let people cut in front of me when it seems the polite thing to do. Just a simple wave and it makes their driving easier, and because of that, mine.
Is any of this making any sense?
Drive accurately. Is that even possible?
I think it is. I think it should be taught in school, or something.
That's all.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
BREAKING NEWS
From the newsroom at CNN:
Real kicker is the last line:
This site brought to you by match.com*
*not really, though
Second Life affair ends in divorce
This pig. Thinks he can cheat on his virtual/real wife online? With a virtual prostitute! Rumor has it he has virtual gonorrhea now. Go figure.Real kicker is the last line:
Taylor is now in a new relationship with a man she met in the online roleplaying game World of Warcraft.I think I know that guy! For more virtual fun, start dating online now!
This site brought to you by match.com*
*not really, though
Thursday, November 13, 2008
What I won't miss
I'll be starting a news series here at I Hate, illuminating all the things I won't miss about the Bush administration.
Up first: People in important positions who like to wear cowboy hats.
Goodbye, all you John Wayne worshipping know-nothings. Thanks but no thanks to your applications for 2008. If I see one goddamn cowboy hat in Obama's cabinet I'm just going to vote for Nader until the day I die.
Up first: People in important positions who like to wear cowboy hats.
Goodbye, all you John Wayne worshipping know-nothings. Thanks but no thanks to your applications for 2008. If I see one goddamn cowboy hat in Obama's cabinet I'm just going to vote for Nader until the day I die.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
How it all could go to shit
Christopher Hitchens is a smart guy.
In this essay, he's hedging his vote for Barack Obama. He's a little queasy with all this happiness and history that's going on. He's thinking maybe we've all forgotten that our troubles haven't magically gone away (and by we, I mean the ones who are actually enjoying the victory).
And I have no trouble being in complete agreement.
I think Obama will make for a terrific president. Of the people who ran this time around, he was the best choice by far. But I'm not stupid, previous post not withstanding. I can see how all this confetti can turn to ash.
The economy is pretty scary, but I'm pretty confident. I think it will rebound after a few years. It won't be pretty, but I have hope that Obama will act out of the best interests of the vast majority of Americans. I think we can emerge as leaders in the new economy. We will because we must.
That's not what worries me. What worries me is the unknown factor: terrorism.
The Bush Administration deserves as much credit for the absence of an attack on America since Sept. 11 as it does for the letting 9/11 happen on their watch. Which is to say, very little.
Few people saw it coming; the administration's failure was our failure. Since that time, no other attack has occurred, while some have reportedly been thwarted. Credit is due, but we cannot forget that Bush has drastically increased executive power, installed a culture of torture and trampled on rights we used to think were quite important -- Habeas corpus? -- and American . And lest we forget, we've lost more American men and women in Iraq than we did on 9/11. So success is really a relative thing, here.
Anyway, this isn't a history lesson. This is how it could all go to shit. If by some chance al Qaeda or some nutballs with simpathies, etc., manage an attack on America under an Obama presidency, the reaction, I imagine, will be quite different than when Dumbo sat and read the children's book for 7 minutes.
To conservatives, this will be all the ammunition they need. Their empty lines about appeasment and terrorists and their insinuations that Democrats are just faggy wimps who can't stand up to big, bag Arabs might take hold.
This is a danger to any Democrat in a post-9/11 world, where Republicans have taken the issue of terrorism and made it into a campaign slogan.
I fear, though, that Obama's newness and his differentness make him especially vulnerable. I only hope I'm proved wrong. Because I believe that the way to peace is not by torture and bombings and wars of choice. But we can be a trigger-happy country when we're attacked.
After 9/11, Bush was given the ultimate blank check: With a 90% approval rating, he had the ability to take us wherever he would like. He chose where we are now, which was not only a giant waste but an insult to those that died on that day. He fucked up so royally that he's now below Nixon's lowest approval ratings, and his presidency is a joke.
I only hope that in the terrible event of another attack that Americans give Obama the same chance. If they do, I expect him to lead with boldness and courage and righteous conviction. If they don't, then his presidency will have been a blip of hope on a dark period in our history. And the crew Americans so emphatically rejected in 2006 and 2008 will slither back into power, desperate, hungry and with revenge on their mind.
For now, it's perhaps best to savor the moment.
In this essay, he's hedging his vote for Barack Obama. He's a little queasy with all this happiness and history that's going on. He's thinking maybe we've all forgotten that our troubles haven't magically gone away (and by we, I mean the ones who are actually enjoying the victory).
And I have no trouble being in complete agreement.
I think Obama will make for a terrific president. Of the people who ran this time around, he was the best choice by far. But I'm not stupid, previous post not withstanding. I can see how all this confetti can turn to ash.
The economy is pretty scary, but I'm pretty confident. I think it will rebound after a few years. It won't be pretty, but I have hope that Obama will act out of the best interests of the vast majority of Americans. I think we can emerge as leaders in the new economy. We will because we must.
That's not what worries me. What worries me is the unknown factor: terrorism.
The Bush Administration deserves as much credit for the absence of an attack on America since Sept. 11 as it does for the letting 9/11 happen on their watch. Which is to say, very little.
Few people saw it coming; the administration's failure was our failure. Since that time, no other attack has occurred, while some have reportedly been thwarted. Credit is due, but we cannot forget that Bush has drastically increased executive power, installed a culture of torture and trampled on rights we used to think were quite important -- Habeas corpus? -- and American . And lest we forget, we've lost more American men and women in Iraq than we did on 9/11. So success is really a relative thing, here.
Anyway, this isn't a history lesson. This is how it could all go to shit. If by some chance al Qaeda or some nutballs with simpathies, etc., manage an attack on America under an Obama presidency, the reaction, I imagine, will be quite different than when Dumbo sat and read the children's book for 7 minutes.
To conservatives, this will be all the ammunition they need. Their empty lines about appeasment and terrorists and their insinuations that Democrats are just faggy wimps who can't stand up to big, bag Arabs might take hold.
This is a danger to any Democrat in a post-9/11 world, where Republicans have taken the issue of terrorism and made it into a campaign slogan.
I fear, though, that Obama's newness and his differentness make him especially vulnerable. I only hope I'm proved wrong. Because I believe that the way to peace is not by torture and bombings and wars of choice. But we can be a trigger-happy country when we're attacked.
After 9/11, Bush was given the ultimate blank check: With a 90% approval rating, he had the ability to take us wherever he would like. He chose where we are now, which was not only a giant waste but an insult to those that died on that day. He fucked up so royally that he's now below Nixon's lowest approval ratings, and his presidency is a joke.
I only hope that in the terrible event of another attack that Americans give Obama the same chance. If they do, I expect him to lead with boldness and courage and righteous conviction. If they don't, then his presidency will have been a blip of hope on a dark period in our history. And the crew Americans so emphatically rejected in 2006 and 2008 will slither back into power, desperate, hungry and with revenge on their mind.
For now, it's perhaps best to savor the moment.
Monday, November 10, 2008
I paid all this money and all I get is a piece of paper
I don't know. Maybe I'm just tired.
But I feel dumb.
Or, should I say, dumber. As in dumber than when I started college five years ago.
Sure, I probably know a lot more. And perhaps I'm a marginally better writer or whatever. Practice and experience always help.
But my brain feels like it's gears are ground down, like it's spinning and working and not really getting anywhere anymore.
This doesn't feel like wisdom.
As an anecdote, earlier I was trying to write about the gears of my brain. I kept typing "gears are grinded down." Like an idiot, I had to type grinded into this little dictionary program I have and it's all like, uh, hey dumbass that's not a word it's grounded.
So, stupid is as stupid does.
That's all I got for tonight.
But I feel dumb.
Or, should I say, dumber. As in dumber than when I started college five years ago.
Sure, I probably know a lot more. And perhaps I'm a marginally better writer or whatever. Practice and experience always help.
But my brain feels like it's gears are ground down, like it's spinning and working and not really getting anywhere anymore.
This doesn't feel like wisdom.
As an anecdote, earlier I was trying to write about the gears of my brain. I kept typing "gears are grinded down." Like an idiot, I had to type grinded into this little dictionary program I have and it's all like, uh, hey dumbass that's not a word it's grounded.
So, stupid is as stupid does.
That's all I got for tonight.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Matt Taibbi hates the word blog
I'm not the only one.
Rolling Stone political writer Matt Taibbi, one of my favorites, now has a blog up. And his first post details how much he hates the word blog. How nice to know we're in agreement.
It's too bad he didn't start this earlier in the campaign. But if you like a guy who calls people on their bullshit, Taibbi is unmatched.
UPDATE: Here's an excerpt from his blog, in hopes it pushes some of you rather foul-mouthed commenters toward his site:
I’ll say this about Michelle Malkin: she has a future in this business. I see her replacing Ann Coulter in that right-wing dipshit hierarchy. The last few times I’ve seen Coulter on TV, I haven’t been able to take my eyes off her Adam’s apple. By 2012 she’s going to be doing ping-pong ball acts at drag clubs in Reno. Malkin, though, she’s hardworking, dumb, and shameless, just like Sarah Palin, who I think has a big future four years from now. So get ready for more of this stuff. It’s only just started and they’ve got four long years of target practice coming.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
The post-election wrap up post
Wow.
What a night.
We may not know the final numbers for a few days, but by all accounts it was a huge day for Obama. He was right about where I thought in the popular vote (a resounding mandate for change) and he even picked up Indiana, which I thought would go to McCain by a few points. It appears late-breakers didn't flock to McCain, which is quite surprising but also very satisfying.
Once N.C. shakes out, I think it will be in Obama's column, which will bring his E.C. total to 364, right around where Bill Clinton was when he won in 1992.
I won't expound on this significance of this, or lament the shameful reactions of some right-leaning simpletons on Facebook. The former is beyond words in many ways, the latter isn't worth the energy. This is an exciting time in the history of our country.
The Democrats didn't sweep to 60 Senate seats, which is just as well. The focus on a filibuster-proof majority was misplaced anyway. Already we are seeing Obama call for cooperation and bipartisanship, with the possibility of filling his cabinet with members of the opposing party (like Lincoln). And he's talking about solving problems, not creating new ones. Unlike the White House's current occupant, I believe Obama will deliver on this promise.
McCain was exceptionally gracious in defeat, and I hope he will return to the Senate with the same passion and vigor he had before the campaign started.
Around the country:
What a night.
We may not know the final numbers for a few days, but by all accounts it was a huge day for Obama. He was right about where I thought in the popular vote (a resounding mandate for change) and he even picked up Indiana, which I thought would go to McCain by a few points. It appears late-breakers didn't flock to McCain, which is quite surprising but also very satisfying.
Once N.C. shakes out, I think it will be in Obama's column, which will bring his E.C. total to 364, right around where Bill Clinton was when he won in 1992.
I won't expound on this significance of this, or lament the shameful reactions of some right-leaning simpletons on Facebook. The former is beyond words in many ways, the latter isn't worth the energy. This is an exciting time in the history of our country.
The Democrats didn't sweep to 60 Senate seats, which is just as well. The focus on a filibuster-proof majority was misplaced anyway. Already we are seeing Obama call for cooperation and bipartisanship, with the possibility of filling his cabinet with members of the opposing party (like Lincoln). And he's talking about solving problems, not creating new ones. Unlike the White House's current occupant, I believe Obama will deliver on this promise.
McCain was exceptionally gracious in defeat, and I hope he will return to the Senate with the same passion and vigor he had before the campaign started.
Around the country:
- Prop 8 passed, banning gay marriage in California. A dark cloud on a sunny day. Eventually, all of these discriminatory laws will get written off the books. It just is going to take a while longer now.
- There was less than 1,000 votes difference between Norm Coleman and Al Franken in Minnesota, and a recount has been triggered (I think). Still, I doubt Franken will win, as he's behind right now. That's too bad -- he would have been the most entertaining and intelligent Senators in a long time.
- Kay Hagen won despite a despicable ad that tried to paint her as an atheist, despite the fact she used to run a Sunday school. I'm glad the N.C. voters rejected that kind of dirty politics.
- Alaska voted in Sen. Ted Stevens to another term despite his being convicted recently. Usually I would say something like, "All Alaskans have the intellect of their governor." But I think this just speaks to how huge Stevens is in Alaska. He's like their George Washington. I don't expect him to be in the Senate, which is a victory for the Internet. But it would have been nice to get a Democrat in there.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Obama!
There may be nothing more boring than waiting in line for a half hour to punch a few buttons on a screen.
But damn that was a lot of fun.
Results to come!
But damn that was a lot of fun.
Results to come!
Monday, November 03, 2008
Now taking orders
OK, so while visits to my blog are as frequent as ever (thanks to all 15 of you, and some random hit I got from China), I've noticed a lack of comments, which must mean that I'm boring you with election nonsense that you couldn't care less about.
Fair enough.
I figured that I could have at least these past couple days devoted to the election seeing how it is tomorrow. And I'm sure to have a few post-election posts that your eyes will glaze over. But let's focus on the future a little. As in my future.
Because I've spent countless hours on this election the past year, and so now what am I going to do? I need a hobby. What are some cool sites to visit on the internet? What's a good way to waste time?
Is there anything you all would really love me to write about? More hating or less hating? (Too bad, it's probably going to be more).
Anyway, drop a comment, and I'll preempt the obvious attempt: don't offer some sort of woman-horse action Web site, please (man-goat acceptable).
Fair enough.
I figured that I could have at least these past couple days devoted to the election seeing how it is tomorrow. And I'm sure to have a few post-election posts that your eyes will glaze over. But let's focus on the future a little. As in my future.
Because I've spent countless hours on this election the past year, and so now what am I going to do? I need a hobby. What are some cool sites to visit on the internet? What's a good way to waste time?
Is there anything you all would really love me to write about? More hating or less hating? (Too bad, it's probably going to be more).
Anyway, drop a comment, and I'll preempt the obvious attempt: don't offer some sort of woman-horse action Web site, please (man-goat acceptable).
I like...
...this short blog post by George Packer. It sort of gets at why I'm a liberal and why, in many ways, conservatism just doesn't make sense to me.
Fuck Joe the Plumber
I can't wait until McCain loses and this self-serving hack goes away forever.
Go stick your nose in a shit-filled toilet and keep your idiotic thoughts to yourself.
How's he paying the bills running around the country questioning Obama's loyalty to the country and saying a vote for Obama means the destruction of Israel?
He isn't plumbing that's for sure.
So let's cut the bullshit, thank you.
McCain-Palin 2008: because you might just be dumb enough to vote for us.
Go stick your nose in a shit-filled toilet and keep your idiotic thoughts to yourself.
How's he paying the bills running around the country questioning Obama's loyalty to the country and saying a vote for Obama means the destruction of Israel?
He isn't plumbing that's for sure.
So let's cut the bullshit, thank you.
McCain-Palin 2008: because you might just be dumb enough to vote for us.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
My official election prediction
Well, it isn't really a prediction.
Basically I'm combining my two favorite polling sources and a betting site and making a guess, the only point of which will be another post where I share how right -- or wrong -- I was.
So to avoid any lack of crediting, here are my sources:
FiveThirtyEight -- named for the total available electoral college votes and run by experienced pollster Nate Silver. This gets top billing because I trust it the most.
Pollster -- run by Mark Blumenthal, it's much more user friendly than 538 and I place nearly as much trust in its trends.
Intrade -- although it has had some fishy moments, I place a good deal of value in its state-by-state predictions.
OK, here's the prediction:
Obama/Biden: 353 McCain/Palin: 185
Obama will surely win: MA, CT, ME, NH, RI, VT, NY, NJ, MD, DC, DE, PA, MI, NM, CO, CA, WA, OR, HI, IL, WI, MN, IA
Obama will probably win: NV, OH, VA
I bet Obama takes: FL, NC
McCain will surely win: SC, TX, AL, LA, MS, TN, KY, OK, AR, WV, KS, NE, ND, SD, AZ, UT, ID, WY, AK
McCain will probably win: GA, MT
I bet McCain wins: IN, MO
Basically, I don't buy that McCain has any shot in Pennsylvania. I think Obama has Ohio pretty well in hand. I think Florida and North Carolina will both be close for Obama. I think Georgia will be close, but will go to McCain. And I'm doubtful Obama can pull off Indiana. But it will be an overwhelming victory for the Obama ticket.
Basically I'm combining my two favorite polling sources and a betting site and making a guess, the only point of which will be another post where I share how right -- or wrong -- I was.
So to avoid any lack of crediting, here are my sources:
FiveThirtyEight -- named for the total available electoral college votes and run by experienced pollster Nate Silver. This gets top billing because I trust it the most.
Pollster -- run by Mark Blumenthal, it's much more user friendly than 538 and I place nearly as much trust in its trends.
Intrade -- although it has had some fishy moments, I place a good deal of value in its state-by-state predictions.
OK, here's the prediction:
Obama/Biden: 353 McCain/Palin: 185
Obama will surely win: MA, CT, ME, NH, RI, VT, NY, NJ, MD, DC, DE, PA, MI, NM, CO, CA, WA, OR, HI, IL, WI, MN, IA
Obama will probably win: NV, OH, VA
I bet Obama takes: FL, NC
McCain will surely win: SC, TX, AL, LA, MS, TN, KY, OK, AR, WV, KS, NE, ND, SD, AZ, UT, ID, WY, AK
McCain will probably win: GA, MT
I bet McCain wins: IN, MO
Basically, I don't buy that McCain has any shot in Pennsylvania. I think Obama has Ohio pretty well in hand. I think Florida and North Carolina will both be close for Obama. I think Georgia will be close, but will go to McCain. And I'm doubtful Obama can pull off Indiana. But it will be an overwhelming victory for the Obama ticket.
Obama - 52% McCain - 45.5%, with remaining 2.5% going to third party candidates.
All in all, a terrific day for Democrats.
**********************
Best of the rest:
The best Senate race is without a doubt in Minnesota, where incumbent Republican Norm Coleman is battling SNL's Al Franken. Third party candidate Dean Barkley, with almost no money, has made this an exciting battle. Although Barkley has little chance, he has opened the door for Franken to take it. This is too close to predict.
Other races to watch:
- Liddy Dole likely to lose her seat in N.C.
- Ted Stevens likely to lose his seat in A.K. following fraud conviction.
- Saxby Chambliss, who won by defaming war hero Max Cleland in 2002, will probably still prevail in Georgia. If high African-American turnout puts Dem. candidate Jim Martin over the edge, it could be huge day for Obama and Dems.
- I expect Republican Senate leader Mitch McConnell to win in K.Y.
- Watch Mississippi's race between Roger Wicker (R) and Ronnie Musgrove (D). A Dem win bodes well for them. Obama has been gaining in this deep South state.
Bottom line: Dems get 59 or 60 Senate seats (including Sanders (I-VT) but not Lieberman(mopey-CT), big majority in House, and a Democratic president.
Thanks Bush!Tuesday, October 28, 2008
My official endorsement for President
In 2004, I followed the election with all the cynicism of a snarky college freshman, convinced that South Park had it right: When all you have to choose between is a turd sandwich and a giant douche, you really have no choice at all.
I didn't vote. Truth is, I wasn't really sure if I could stand Kerry any more or less than Bush. Yet, when Bush won, I felt disappointed. My gut was telling me he was the wrong choice.
In that same year, I wrote a paper for my English class, one of the first college papers I wrote. It was about a young Senator from Illinois who roused the Democratic convention with his unbelievable story, his passion, and his soaring rhetoric. It was about Barack Obama.
By late 2007, I grew more convinced than ever how wrong George W. Bush has been for this country. I'm not going to list his failures here. This is about the direction we take on Jan. 20, 2009. By all accounts, it looked like it was Hillary vs. the Republicans. The return of the Clintons. My cynicism remained. I liked Barack but I didn't think he could win.
Then came Iowa, when Obama shocked everyone and won, with young voters pushing him over the top. I saw my chance: He would be coming to South Carolina, and my vote could help make him a candidate for president. This was for real.
My roommate and I went to see him with Oprah. I hate Oprah. But I loved Obama and Michelle. On Jan. 26, I slapped an Obama sticker on my car and drove around town, beeping my horn at all the supporters waving signs. I did what I consider to be the most important action of my short life and voted for Obama. My cynicism was gone.
After that came Hope. Yes We Can. This is Our Moment. Soaring speeches and tough debates. Obama kept his cool and kept on doing the impossible. It took forever but he finally won the nomination.
Since then, I've sobered up. I no longer think Obama will change the very nature of politics in America. He's more conventional than I thought. But in other ways, he's even better than I could have imagined. And my cynicism hasn't returned.
He's proven to be the more cautious and careful campaigner. He's attacked, but fairly. He's dodged bullets by taking them head on; he's stayed focused, never wavering or panicking. He's shown himself to be curious, intelligent and thoughtful. He's exactly the kind of president I want. Some jackasses call him the anti-Christ. But really, he's the anti-Bush.
I don't agree with him on everything. Sometimes I'm more liberal. Sometimes I'm more conservative. Sometimes I'm just plain crazy. But Obama's positions have always been measured and reasonable, and that's a breath of fresh air.
Along the way, I've talked with liberals and conservatives alike who were worried. Does he have enough experience? Are we heading toward socialism? What about this Rev. Wright guy? I've tried to answer them as eloquently as Obama (with mixed results).
This isn't meant to convince anyone. I could never state the case as succinctly as Colin Powell. If you haven't made up your mind by now, read this piece by David Sedaris. I'm merely letting everyone out there know: you have nothing to be afraid of. I've followed Obama for a long time now, and he has done nothing but continue to impress me. He will be an impressive president; a Clinton without the drama.
His race and his party may keep him from ever attaining atmospheric popularity, but I'm confident he has the best interests of this country at heart. On positions and on personality, Obama has presented himself as the most agreeable candidate.
A brief word on the opposition. I used to like John McCain ("Oh, you mean when he was a Democrat?" said a friend). But, no, really. He seemed to have developed a genuine independent streak, whatever his past as an underachiever and the whole Keating mess. But he threw that out the window in an attempt to win this election.
He's defended attacks he must know in his heart were unfair. He picked a completely unqualified candidate for V.P. because she was a woman and because she placated the nutball right-wingers that distrusted him. He's gruff, angry and impulsive. He made the cynical moves, and maybe he had to, with the election tilted towards the Democrats the way it was. But he's tarnished now, in my eyes, and he's made the decision that much easier.
The less we hear of Sarah Palin in the future the better. She is many things, least of all scary and dangerous. More on her later, if necessary. (I hope not).
So there is the choice. Between the desperate old man and a youngster full of hope and promise. Between progress and business as usual. Between the past and the future. Decide according to your own conscience.
I often give people this anecdote when they ask why I support Barack with such passion. As a person who obsesses over politics it was disheartening not having a major national figure I could get behind. Hillary? Edwards? Kerry? None were deserving enough for me. I wanted to be the old guy with the picture of JFK or FDR hanging on my wall. I was jealous. I wanted a president I could be proud of.
On November 4, I'm going to supplant my most important act with a vote for Barack Obama as the next President of the United States. It will make history. But that's a small matter. I hope it will make things better.
He's got a full plate. The hole George W. has dug may be too big to climb out of. But I can't think of any other person I'd rather have leading the way. And corny as it sounds, if he wins, I'll be putting a picture of him up in my room.
I didn't vote. Truth is, I wasn't really sure if I could stand Kerry any more or less than Bush. Yet, when Bush won, I felt disappointed. My gut was telling me he was the wrong choice.
In that same year, I wrote a paper for my English class, one of the first college papers I wrote. It was about a young Senator from Illinois who roused the Democratic convention with his unbelievable story, his passion, and his soaring rhetoric. It was about Barack Obama.
By late 2007, I grew more convinced than ever how wrong George W. Bush has been for this country. I'm not going to list his failures here. This is about the direction we take on Jan. 20, 2009. By all accounts, it looked like it was Hillary vs. the Republicans. The return of the Clintons. My cynicism remained. I liked Barack but I didn't think he could win.
Then came Iowa, when Obama shocked everyone and won, with young voters pushing him over the top. I saw my chance: He would be coming to South Carolina, and my vote could help make him a candidate for president. This was for real.
My roommate and I went to see him with Oprah. I hate Oprah. But I loved Obama and Michelle. On Jan. 26, I slapped an Obama sticker on my car and drove around town, beeping my horn at all the supporters waving signs. I did what I consider to be the most important action of my short life and voted for Obama. My cynicism was gone.
After that came Hope. Yes We Can. This is Our Moment. Soaring speeches and tough debates. Obama kept his cool and kept on doing the impossible. It took forever but he finally won the nomination.
Since then, I've sobered up. I no longer think Obama will change the very nature of politics in America. He's more conventional than I thought. But in other ways, he's even better than I could have imagined. And my cynicism hasn't returned.
He's proven to be the more cautious and careful campaigner. He's attacked, but fairly. He's dodged bullets by taking them head on; he's stayed focused, never wavering or panicking. He's shown himself to be curious, intelligent and thoughtful. He's exactly the kind of president I want. Some jackasses call him the anti-Christ. But really, he's the anti-Bush.
I don't agree with him on everything. Sometimes I'm more liberal. Sometimes I'm more conservative. Sometimes I'm just plain crazy. But Obama's positions have always been measured and reasonable, and that's a breath of fresh air.
Along the way, I've talked with liberals and conservatives alike who were worried. Does he have enough experience? Are we heading toward socialism? What about this Rev. Wright guy? I've tried to answer them as eloquently as Obama (with mixed results).
This isn't meant to convince anyone. I could never state the case as succinctly as Colin Powell. If you haven't made up your mind by now, read this piece by David Sedaris. I'm merely letting everyone out there know: you have nothing to be afraid of. I've followed Obama for a long time now, and he has done nothing but continue to impress me. He will be an impressive president; a Clinton without the drama.
His race and his party may keep him from ever attaining atmospheric popularity, but I'm confident he has the best interests of this country at heart. On positions and on personality, Obama has presented himself as the most agreeable candidate.
A brief word on the opposition. I used to like John McCain ("Oh, you mean when he was a Democrat?" said a friend). But, no, really. He seemed to have developed a genuine independent streak, whatever his past as an underachiever and the whole Keating mess. But he threw that out the window in an attempt to win this election.
He's defended attacks he must know in his heart were unfair. He picked a completely unqualified candidate for V.P. because she was a woman and because she placated the nutball right-wingers that distrusted him. He's gruff, angry and impulsive. He made the cynical moves, and maybe he had to, with the election tilted towards the Democrats the way it was. But he's tarnished now, in my eyes, and he's made the decision that much easier.
The less we hear of Sarah Palin in the future the better. She is many things, least of all scary and dangerous. More on her later, if necessary. (I hope not).
So there is the choice. Between the desperate old man and a youngster full of hope and promise. Between progress and business as usual. Between the past and the future. Decide according to your own conscience.
I often give people this anecdote when they ask why I support Barack with such passion. As a person who obsesses over politics it was disheartening not having a major national figure I could get behind. Hillary? Edwards? Kerry? None were deserving enough for me. I wanted to be the old guy with the picture of JFK or FDR hanging on my wall. I was jealous. I wanted a president I could be proud of.
On November 4, I'm going to supplant my most important act with a vote for Barack Obama as the next President of the United States. It will make history. But that's a small matter. I hope it will make things better.
He's got a full plate. The hole George W. has dug may be too big to climb out of. But I can't think of any other person I'd rather have leading the way. And corny as it sounds, if he wins, I'll be putting a picture of him up in my room.
Californication
Since the most consistent visitor to this blog is from California, I'd like to take the time out to highlight a very interesting situation in that state.
A recent state Supreme Court decision declared it unconstitutional to deny gay couples the right to marry, citing the equal protection clause in the state's constitution. Naturally, the only way to reverse that decision would be to amend the constitution.
Enter Proposition 8, which is designed to do just that.
What is so shocking about this case is that, according to the NY Times, it has attracted conservative religious leaders -- and dollars -- from across the country. They see this as a central front in the battle against gay marriage. From the ubiquitous Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council, to the hip Rev. Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Drive Life and goatee wearer, religious leaders have lined up to take away the constitutional rights of gay men and women in the state of California.
Look, I understand that for some this is a sensitive moral issue. And I understand that states like South Carolina will probably never allow same sex marriage. But the simple fact is that these zealots are using fear, religion and children to promote their agenda of discrimination.
No one wants to force churches to perform ceremonies for gay couples. No one wants to force children to consider being gay alongside considering to volunteer or learning about science. If you're gay, you're gay. It's that simple. You should be able to marry any consenting adult if you so please. Denying that right makes no sense.
What will happen to marriage if gay couples are allowed to wed? Nothing. Easy-to-obtain divorces have already diluted the institution of marriage. There's nothing left to damage.
And really, how could gay marriage hurt straight marriage? How would allowing more people to commit to each other and raise children and live healthy lifestyles possibly hurt marriage? If anything, it may even strengthen it.
Look at some of the ads the "Yes on Prop 8" people are running:
Oh, the horror! Little Timmy and Sally will go to straight to hell once they find out about those evil, evil gay people! It will hurt our religious freedom! We will be ostracized because of our hatred of people based on their sexual orientation! The Bible has several vague verses which condemn gays, so, like, I say they shouldn't get married!
Give me a break. In America, you can believe what you want to believe. You can believe being gay is an abomination. You can believe certain races are inferior. You can believe that that everyone on the West Coast should be shot and killed. But you have no right to put that discrimination into law.
You can't turn the clock back on progress with discriminatory laws. We're passed the point where you can pretend gays don't exist by plugging your ears and covering your eyes, or that there is some 'cure' out there, as if being gay is a disease. Maybe you don't like it. Maybe you don't like interracial marriage either. Too bad.
Californians: Do the right thing. Reject conservative religious zealotry. We've come too far to put bigotry back into our institutions. Vote No on Prop 8.
I'll leave you with a few "No" vids:
*At least for this post, please keep your comments serious.
A recent state Supreme Court decision declared it unconstitutional to deny gay couples the right to marry, citing the equal protection clause in the state's constitution. Naturally, the only way to reverse that decision would be to amend the constitution.
Enter Proposition 8, which is designed to do just that.
What is so shocking about this case is that, according to the NY Times, it has attracted conservative religious leaders -- and dollars -- from across the country. They see this as a central front in the battle against gay marriage. From the ubiquitous Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council, to the hip Rev. Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Drive Life and goatee wearer, religious leaders have lined up to take away the constitutional rights of gay men and women in the state of California.
Look, I understand that for some this is a sensitive moral issue. And I understand that states like South Carolina will probably never allow same sex marriage. But the simple fact is that these zealots are using fear, religion and children to promote their agenda of discrimination.
No one wants to force churches to perform ceremonies for gay couples. No one wants to force children to consider being gay alongside considering to volunteer or learning about science. If you're gay, you're gay. It's that simple. You should be able to marry any consenting adult if you so please. Denying that right makes no sense.
What will happen to marriage if gay couples are allowed to wed? Nothing. Easy-to-obtain divorces have already diluted the institution of marriage. There's nothing left to damage.
And really, how could gay marriage hurt straight marriage? How would allowing more people to commit to each other and raise children and live healthy lifestyles possibly hurt marriage? If anything, it may even strengthen it.
Look at some of the ads the "Yes on Prop 8" people are running:
Oh, the horror! Little Timmy and Sally will go to straight to hell once they find out about those evil, evil gay people! It will hurt our religious freedom! We will be ostracized because of our hatred of people based on their sexual orientation! The Bible has several vague verses which condemn gays, so, like, I say they shouldn't get married!
Give me a break. In America, you can believe what you want to believe. You can believe being gay is an abomination. You can believe certain races are inferior. You can believe that that everyone on the West Coast should be shot and killed. But you have no right to put that discrimination into law.
You can't turn the clock back on progress with discriminatory laws. We're passed the point where you can pretend gays don't exist by plugging your ears and covering your eyes, or that there is some 'cure' out there, as if being gay is a disease. Maybe you don't like it. Maybe you don't like interracial marriage either. Too bad.
Californians: Do the right thing. Reject conservative religious zealotry. We've come too far to put bigotry back into our institutions. Vote No on Prop 8.
I'll leave you with a few "No" vids:
*At least for this post, please keep your comments serious.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
I Like...
These YouTube videos, which I found linked on Andrew Sullivan's blog.
Featuring: The return of the Wassup Guys:
And, a brief overview of the VP situation in the McCain-Palin camp:
Featuring: The return of the Wassup Guys:
And, a brief overview of the VP situation in the McCain-Palin camp:
Friday, October 24, 2008
Time to retire...
Driving to school/work* today, I was stuck at a stoplight next to a tan Honda CR-V. The SUV had both it's windows down and the young white kid in the front was tapping his fingers to the beat that was blaring from his speakers.
What song was it?
Back that Ass Up by Juvenile.
Seriously.
OK, this song needs to be retired. At first it was like a cool song that you were the man if you knew all the lyrics to. And the video had those vixens doing that popping thing with their booty. When you're in high school, that's like totally sweet I guess. Then, later, the song would come on and everyone would laugh and it'd be totally ironic as a bunch of white kids tried to imitate Juve'. But I'm thinking that the irony clock has run out on this song. Now it's just sad.
Is this really the song this guy wanted to hear at 9 o'clock in the morning? Not that rap is bad, but how about something from this decade? I cringe to think that Back that Ass Up is a classic.
I'm sure someone is already thinking of making a comment about how it is a classic, and how I'm wrong or whatever. So here's the video. Before you comment, watch the whole thing. And if you don't feel a little dirty or sad afterward, then you may proceed. And how horrible I feel for you if that's the case. Also you're required to be up early in the morning/not drunk.
*I've been having trouble with this lately, because I always say "work" even though it is "school." But I'm locked in a windowless office for hours and hours, stuck in a suffocating black cubicle. That's work. The only difference is I don't get paid, which essentially makes it suck more, and more work-like than school-like. So I'm sticking with "work" from here out.
What song was it?
Back that Ass Up by Juvenile.
Seriously.
OK, this song needs to be retired. At first it was like a cool song that you were the man if you knew all the lyrics to. And the video had those vixens doing that popping thing with their booty. When you're in high school, that's like totally sweet I guess. Then, later, the song would come on and everyone would laugh and it'd be totally ironic as a bunch of white kids tried to imitate Juve'. But I'm thinking that the irony clock has run out on this song. Now it's just sad.
Is this really the song this guy wanted to hear at 9 o'clock in the morning? Not that rap is bad, but how about something from this decade? I cringe to think that Back that Ass Up is a classic.
I'm sure someone is already thinking of making a comment about how it is a classic, and how I'm wrong or whatever. So here's the video. Before you comment, watch the whole thing. And if you don't feel a little dirty or sad afterward, then you may proceed. And how horrible I feel for you if that's the case. Also you're required to be up early in the morning/not drunk.
*I've been having trouble with this lately, because I always say "work" even though it is "school." But I'm locked in a windowless office for hours and hours, stuck in a suffocating black cubicle. That's work. The only difference is I don't get paid, which essentially makes it suck more, and more work-like than school-like. So I'm sticking with "work" from here out.
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